Ricks Cafe Americain

PREDICTION: There will NOT be a terrorist attack before the presidential elections.

Sun, 18 Jul 2004 18:19:53 GMT

One of two states currently exists. Either the terrorists are currently, and will be until election day, incapable of attempting a major terrorist attack, or they are (or will be) capable of attempting one. If we are in the first situation, then obviously, there will be no attack. If we are in the second situation, I nevertheless predict that we will not see an attack prior to election day. Why? Well, let me tell you.

Does This Make Me a Professional?

Fri, 09 Jul 2004 18:44:54 GMT

My first trip to the New York Comedy Club was one that I would rather forget. I had to wait around forever, I half-assed my performance and I subjected my girlfriend to a barrage of sleazy come-ons from a man that was "just kidding!" I didn't exactly look forward to going back but this is the path I have chosen, and they had a spot for me at last night's bringer. I had an easy-to-make quota of three people...

Ugarte's Poker Grovel #31, or Finding My Level

Fri, 09 Jul 2004 18:40:39 GMT

Wednesday meant the game was at the Churchwarden's. After playing so poorly at the Blue Parrot and having a run of bad fortune on my beloved $25PL Omaha/8 tables at Party Poker I figured it would be nice to get back to a game where I care more about the company than the poker. Also, it doesn't hurt that I usually take in a few bucks to boot.

An Unbiased Look

Wed, 07 Jul 2004 22:48:25 GMT

Well, not so much unbiased as journalistically neutral. Esther's article about the Funny Jew contest is now online. I still can't help wondering what place I finished in. Particularly since I had one of the judges in my corner....

Cut Off That Microphone

Wed, 07 Jul 2004 19:06:22 GMT

The Democrats have the right vice presidential candidate. Can we get a live body to head the ticket? I'm not a big fan of Will Saletan's Kerryisms feature. I think that while he captures the dips and tics in Kerry's speech he often elides the difference between nuanced thought and political hedging. What I hate most, though, is that it reveals Kerry to be an embarrassingly turgid public speaker just when I am starting to feel that the election can be won. The...

Happy Hour Special!

Tue, 06 Jul 2004 22:24:14 GMT

I can get a spot at Gotham this Friday evening (arrive by 6:15 PM for seats) if I can get four people to come for me. Does this work for anyone? The show will probably be $8 + 2 drinks and will start at ~6:30. Gotham is on 22d Street between 5th and 6th Ave. If you can make it, let me know at ugarte*at*rickblaine.com. Thanks.

It's Almost As If Kerry Is Trying To Win!

Tue, 06 Jul 2004 19:14:00 GMT

John Kerry finally wised up and chose John Edwards as his running mate. He took too long to do it, but better late than Gephardt. Slate nails why Edwards is the right choice. Kerry has a reputation as an excellent...

Off By Just One Letter

Tue, 06 Jul 2004 17:07:35 GMT

The folks at Monkeywire wish that people would stop comparing our President to a chimp, and I think they have a point. Read the press release. (This link has been fixed. It is actually the press release now. - ed.) Bush is not a chimp. He is an

Right Back on the Horse

Mon, 05 Jul 2004 05:01:12 GMT

If this were a more interesting blog, that post title would promise sordid tales of my heroin relapse. This is not an interesting blog, so you will instead hear about my return to the stage after my crushing defeat.

A Funny Jew, but Not the Funniest

Fri, 02 Jul 2004 18:50:21 GMT

After weeks of anticipation, the finals for the Funniest Jewish Amateur Comic were on Tuesday night. I didn't place - and I'm not sure how mad to be about that yet - but it was a great night. Let me tell you about it.