Blog King - Group HugIt was a bit touchy-and-go for a while there, but I’ve aged and mellowed since, and had a good hug with Dan K. O’Leary, so without further ado, let’s rate this week’s Challenges. The question was: “Why do you deserve the King (or Queen) of the Blogs title, and why don’t your adversaries?”
ChristWeb (Reigning King): As mccaskil acknowledges, he doesn’t really answer the question. Instead, he takes the high road (so high, this Judge could barely read it) with a thoughtful, eloquent piece that strikes exactly the right tone—but did I mention he didn’t answer the question? 4 points, but only because there is an implied answer: “I am a bigger [in a spiritual sense] blogger.”
Pragmatic Conservatism (a.k.a. Dank O’Bleary): OK, I know why I suddenly became a raging asshole and started pounding the shit out of poor innocent blogs, but this guy ain’t a Judge. From the typo in the picture to the (hopefully) inadvertent claim that Where the Hell Was I was going to cause him to shit his pants to the totally unfunny ad hominem attacks (c’mon. Mine were funny.), this is one long turd. The biggest failure, however: his reasons are wrong. He criticizes the other pretenders for flaws they don’t actually have, and gives totally unconvincing reasons why he should be King. He may have a loyal following, be the most experienced blogger, write most of his own stuff and be very proud of himself, but from what I can tell, the blog still sucks. To the Reverend Queen, Emperor of King of the Blogs, Dank writes, “Well Nick, I don’t play if I’m not going to win.” To Dank I must respond on Nick’s behalf: “Well, Dan, thanks for playing”. 0.
Cranial Cavity also took the high road, but came a bit closer to answering the question. I liked the “game” pun, and the image “Ringmaster for a circus of two daughters”, but he gave the same single reason that Christweb offered, so unless they both win, it ain’t such a compelling one anymore. 4
Wallo World: I like this one a lot. He gives some serious and respectable reasons why his blog is worthy, and then puts together an amusing list of his best traits—as determined by various online polls. It’s a cute gimmick, and it worked for me. 8.
Southern Musings: Unnecessarily self-deprecating entry gives some good answers. The best: she is committed to the blogosphere. I thought the overall tone ("I know I’m not worthy but . . .") hurt the piece—take some pride in your work and your efforts! 6.
Where the Hell Was I: For the love of all that is holy, if you are going to write that much, please, please, please use a “More” script, or something like what Triggerman does. This one was pretty funny (and long—did I mention long?), and I actually enjoyed the digression in which he responded to Dank’s Rick impersonation, but he may not fully have thought through the implications of “‘Everybody Change Your Passwords to ‘Foo’ for a Day”. 7
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