Where feminine hygiene is no laughing matter ...Rick's Cafe Americain

That’s right, no alcohol. For some reason these guys don’t drink when they play poker. It is pretty amazing, actually, because I get the feeling that under the right circumstances (i.e., any other time) these boys would pound the bottle hard. But if they aren’t drinking, I’m not drinking - which is a pity. Even though it makes the drive home safer.

I showed up at A.M. II at 10:15PM after making a quick stop at R Bar. (More on that in a later post.) Sporto, The Chief, Frogman, Maverick and Combo were there already so we decided to start up with six. Nixma showed up as Sporto was distributing chips. Deke showed up at around midnight. We play .25/.50 NL and typically buy in for $20.

The night was a strange one. I made a commitment to myself that I would stop being such a pussy at the table. I would lay down my hand when I had to but I would play aggressive and strong. Induce folds with real bets at big pots, not just cheap steals of tiny limped pots. Make draws pay real money to come from behind. Loosen up starting hands a little so that my game isn’t so damn predictable. I started on the button. As is true of most of the night, I don’t remember the play. I may have raised preflop. I know that I bet the flop and the turn and the table folded to my bet on the turn. So far, so good.

I picked up a couple more small pots on the first orbit. The button had rotated back to me when I looked down and saw KQo. I joined a few limpers and limped my button. Combos (long story) was on my left in the small blind and he made it $2 to go. All of the limpers threw away their hands and started discussing whether he had nines or tens. I let the table talk get to me and I decided to play my overcards. The flop was Q-J-J and Combos bet $2. I immediately raised him to $7 and he called. Alarm bells should have been going off. The turn was an ace. I had a feeling that Combos didn’t like the card, so when he checked to me, I bet $15. He thought long and hard and pushed. Now I figured that I was beat, but he only had .75 behind my bet so I had to call. He had Kings. I had two outs to a win and four to a chop, but the river was a brick and I found myself down to roughly $6. I saw for myself why asphnxma has dubbed KQo “Kournikova“: looks great, but never wins.

I could have rebought, but I decided that since I played myself into this mess, I’d play myself out of it. It worked. I don’t remember how it worked, but it worked. I built my $6 back up to $23 by playing solid poker, showing down the best hands and getting good folds. The only hand I remember was a push with Q9 on a checked-to-the-river board of T-x-x-x-9 that The Chief called with J9.

While I was riding the rollercoaster, asphnxma was falling off of a cliff. Nix dropped $60 in roughly two hours. That is only two big bets for our high-rolling friend, but losing your stack after rebuying twice is a sign to anyone except The Chief that it is time to leave the table. (And The Chief always makes it back. Unless we are playing Omaha.) His place at the table was soon taken by late addition Stoney who, true to his name, sparked up shortly after his arrival. No alcohol doesn’t mean no vice, after all.

Then I lost it all again. I don’t remember this hand at all. All I know is that I was down to $2.50. That seemed like too deep a hole, so I pulled out another twenty.

After the rebuy, I started playing very well again. I built the $20 to almost $60. I was betting hard and taking people out. I was juicing the pot preflop when I wanted action and hitting my hands. I lost $15 to The Chief when he check-called me on the turn of one hand, but I was able to let it go when he pushed the river because I knew that I was beat.

Then I almost lost it all again. Before I get to me, though, a moment for Stoney. He had a pretty erratic night also. After starting the night up, he found himself down to $6, so he pushed all-in. Chief called him in the dark and doubled him up. With over $100 in front of him, he figured he could fuck around. Two hands later, Stoney pushed again - this time on the flop - and again got a call from The Chief. From $6 to almost $30 in an eyeblink. It took a little while, but about fifteen minutes later it occurred to Chief - after doubling up Tiger - that he was bleeding away all of the money he had spent the night winning and almost all of his blue $5 chips had been distributed all around the table. It didn’t stop him, though. Stoney eventually lost most of his chips and found himself with less than $10 again, so when he got a hand, he pushed again. Chief looked at his hand and said I’m behind, but I’ll call. I’ve got nines. I laughed flicked my big blind into the pot and mucked my cards face up: 9♥6♥. Stoney turned over AQo (black) and Chief turned over his nines, er, 9♦6♦. Chief instantly apologized because he wouldn’t have called an all-in with such junk and winning a hand like that is just wrong. When he spiked a black six on the river, Chief apologized again. And then took down the pot.

After Stoney busted out, we decided to finish the orbit and then break up the game. It was a wild last orbit. Tiger had cashed out (down about a buck) but had been hanging around, hoping that the game would break up and I would give him a ride downtown. We eventually convinced him to sit back down for the last few orbits, so we were five handed (Sporto having decided to retire to his room to play World of Warcraft.)

I became a raising machine. Oddly enough, every hand I raised with was a legit raising hand in a short-handed game. The first time everybody folded. The second, I got callers who folded when I bet the flop, but were sure that I was full of crap. The third hand was a brief interlude where I folded to Chief’s raise, Tiger pushed and lost all of his chips to Chief. (NB: His free ride home just cost him $20.) On the next hand I got screwed by the flop and had to fold my ace. Then it happened again. After screwed by the flop twice, I decided to limp my ATo. The flop had two kings and Deke bet $1. I was pretty sure that I had the best hand, though I shouldn’t have been. Deke often makes small value bets on the flop when he knows he is ahead, hoping for a raise. He got the raise from me on the turn. He bet another dollar when a brick came out and I raised him to $6. He pushed, I let it go and he showed me his king.

Next hand (and the second to last hand of the night): Pocket eights, so I raised to $2.50 to thin the field. No dice. FOUR CALLERS! And the flop had a damn ace (A-6-3♦.) I probably should have bet, but knew that I’d have to shut down if I got callers. (That is more reason to bet. You had position. -ed. Yeah, yeah.) 7♦ on the turn. Deke and Chief checked so fast that I was sure I was being trapped, so I checked again. The river was the T♦ and Deke bet out $5. I said I can’t believe that I’m going to pay you off again, assuming that he figured it was time to bet his ace and made the crying call. He flipped over K♦4♦ for the runner-runner flush that I let him catch for free. Chief said that he checked his small ace, figuring that I’d check-raise him. I had gone from $50 to ~$18 in about six hands.

Last hand of the night. Chief raised to $1.50. I took a peek and saw something I hadn’t seen all night: bullets. So I just pushed all-in. If all I got were the blinds and Chief’s raise, so be it. The fast-and-loose turn the game had taken told me that I was going to get a call. Around the table:

Frogman: Bullshit (muck)
Deke: Let me think about this ... I really want to call, but I’m afraid [Chief] is going to call ... (muck)
Chief: [Banter to draw me out] Call.

He had me on a small pair and was willing to race for my stack on the last hand of the night with KJo. He didn’t get any help, though, so I doubled up to close the night and ended up down only $1.50 for the night. For such a mild finish, you would never guess that a flowchart of my chip count would look like an EKG.

Poker does get the heart racing, though.