Ugarte's Poker Grovel #19, or Return of the HeidiI’ve finally got my DSL sorted out so I can blog again. With only my memory to guide me, I have three games to write up over the next few days, last Friday at Chez Helmut, Tuesday at Ferrari’s and Wednesday at the Churchwarden’s.
Today’s featured game is Helmut’s.
Helmut’s games are of a far different tenor than Ferrari’s. The poker is less serious, the game more social. In fact, the motto of Helmut’s Games should be “come for the food, stay for the inexperienced poker players,” and Friday was no exception. In addition to Helmut, Ferrari, Rick and myself, the Friday game included Brother of Ugarte and Helmut’s girlfriend, Sous Chef. But more importantly, Friday’s game marked the return from South Africa of Heidi, the champion from The Tournament and her friend Jon. I have been waiting for this opportunity for some time, since she was apparently awful in the ring game I didn’t attend, and she got me so mad at The Tournament that I was out for blood.
Hey, is that my blood? More on that in a moment.
And did I mention that there is good food? Helmut and Sous Chef whipped up make-your-nose-run-holy-shit-that-is-fucking-hot jambalaya and a very creative salad and provided a variety of beers and whiskeys. Back to poker.
I remember two hands clearly. First, an uncharacteristically awful play from Ferrari. I think Ferrari raised preflop with AQ (don’t remember if it was suited, and it doesn’t matter for the hand). Heidi bet out (raised?) when the flop fell K-9-x. And then there was a K on the turn. And a 9 on the river. And still Ferrari called her to the end. To the sound of a shreik like a car alarm, Heidi turned over Fido, proving that she was just as classy as ever. Still, two full houses is a pretty nice hand.
After the game Ferrari insisted that he won more money on the hand before it than he lost to the Two Family House, but I can’t say that I remember that. I also remember the hand being more expensive than he recalls. Doesn’t matter. He can rationalize all he wants, but when a second king hit on the turn, he should have been long gone and I think he knows this.
Second hand: Seven card stud. I called an early, but very small raise with an ace in the hole. Was it a mistake? Yes. The mistakes got bigger. I ended up in a raising war with Jon (who was showing AK) when I paired up my ace on 4th street. I got a 6 on 5th street, which is unremarkable except for the fact that I had a 6 in the hole as well. (Did I mention that Heidi was just calling all along? I should have. She had a pair of 4s showing.) 6th street was seemingly uneventful for everyone, though I will mention (for foreshadowing purposes only) that Heidi was dealt a J. If you are paying attention you will be a) horrified and b) not surprised when you find out that Jon and I capped the betting again, with Heidi unobtrusively calling all the way. For my final hole card I was dealt an 8. This would have been totally unhelpful until the hand quickly became something like that stupid parable about the horse. I first found out that I didn’t have Aces up because my second hole card was a 5, not a 6. Bad news. But the 8, combined with the 7 and 4 that I didn’t even describe in the recap because they seemed like blanks at the time gave me an I-don’t-deserve-to-be-this-lucky straight. Good news! And then as I was raking up the chips, assuming that Heidi had mucked, someone pointed out that she just flipped over her first two hole cards: J4 which, if you have been paying attention, gave her 4s full of jacks. Very, very bad news! That’s life, I guess. That hand cost me $50 and forced me to rebuy. And with that big pot, Heidi cashed in her chips and left the game up $140 in about an hour and a half of low-stakes play.
She played very well in her short time at the table, using a fake-confused act to full advantage but continuing her horrible sportsmanship. I leave it to Elton John to sum up Heidi’s appearance at the game:
I?m a bitch, I?m a bitch
Oh the bitch is back
Stone cold sober as a matter of fact
I can bitch, I can bitch
`cause I?m better than you
It?s the way that I move
The things that I do
I might be a little bitter. (Of course I don’t actually think she is better than me - which might prove more than I realize - and I want to sit down with her again.)
As for the rest of the night, let’s just say that Brother of Ugarte needs to read a bit about Omaha starting hands and strategy and Sous Chef has to become comfortable with folding hands that don’t work out. Despite my early setback, I killed the table after the rebuy and ended up the big non-Heidi winner. Unfortunately I waited too long for this write-up. I don’t remember the wins and can’t report on them. The only reason I remember the losses is that I still see the scars and they remind me.
Tote board:
Heidi +$138.25
Ugarte +$76.50
Rick +$39.50
Ferrari +$10.25
Jon -$6
Brother of Ugarte -$58.50
Helmut/Sous Chef -$198
