I sort of knew that it was over in Florida before Wednesday. Some Floridians I know, Republicans that despised the way Bush has conducted the war in Iraq and had previously sworn that they wouldn’t vote for him, couldn’t wrap their minds around the idea of a John Kerry as President of the United States. They had voted for Bush before I arrived and had a chance to try and talk them out of it. Another friend, a gay early-twenty-something also said that he was going to vote for Bush. I may have talked him out of it—I’ll never ask, so I’ll never know—but I was obviously trying to drain the ocean with a teaspoon. These people were like a bellwether of Bush’s victory; they didn’t like Bush but they really didn’t like Kerry. And they voted. With that news, I took everything I heard thereafter—the final Monday polls and the afternoon exit polling—with a grain of salt.
I was disappointed but not surprised at the final result. All of the Floridians I am talking about were bright folks; they fall into a separate category from the people I bemoaned in Karol’s comments. They are people who would have fired Bush if the Democrats had a better candidate. They wanted to vote FOR somebody, not AGAINST somebody and Kerry didn’t inspire them at all. I can only shrug my shoulders and wonder what might have been if Howard Dean had won. The voters uncomfortable with the President’s performance clearly didn’t want Bush-lite; not when they could just keep Extra Strength Bush. But I think they would have given much more consideration to an anti-Bush.
I arrived on Saturday night. I rented a compact car (Dodge Neon, anyone?) because I didn’t want to spend too much money - and because (car rental tip) airport rentals NEVER have compacts. It is an almost certain free upgrade - and if it isn’t, you probably aren’t going to have to pay any more for the midsize than you would have at the time you made your reservation. How Jewish of me. Anyway, as per the plan, they didn’t have any compact cars at the Tampa Airport Dollar Rent-A-Car. And so I ended up driving a Dodge Grand Caravan. This too, was a sign, as it was clear that whatever I asked for, I would get the exact opposite. For the record, the Caravan handles rather well.
On Sunday, I had to drive to St. Petersburg for the final Lawyer’s for Kerry meeting. I finally got my precinct assignment, though I knew it would be a low-priority precinct. They had assigned the precincts in order of importance, and had simply forgotten to assign a precinct to me. (Can the jokes before they start; they didn’t know me well enough for it to have been on purpose.) This meeting marked the fourth time in which I heard the same lecture on Florida election law. I’ll be honest, people: everything I needed to know about Florida election law I learned in the thirty-minute online lesson I took three weeks ago. As a non-Florida resident I WASN’T EVEN ALLOWED TO BE AN ON-SITE POLL WATCHER. I knew I was going to have to stand on the far side of the 50-foot electioneering barrier, so any excess Florida law knowledge will only become useful if I end up on Jeopardy after they have run out of interesting. In addition to the tedium of hearing everything for the fourth time, I had to suffer through a room of lawyers asking questions about issues either spectacularly narrow or mindbendingly obvious that I finally had to shout over the crowd to stop asking questions until the lecture was over—so I could leave before they asked them.
On Monday, Zinester and I went canvassing for Kerry in St. Petersburg. It was a lovely neighborhood. Private homes and manicured lawns. We were given 40 addresses in the neighborhood that were known Democrats and were supposed to have been scrubbed of known Bush supporters. We were asked to encourage early voting, but to push people to vote. The former proved impossible and the latter was all too easy. If you hadn’t already made a commitment to early vote, the reports of interminable lines were a huge turnoff. On the other hand, every single person we spoke to—aged 22 to 95—had already voted or was gung ho to get out and vote on Wednesday. They were almost to a person enthusiastic about Kerry’s chances and really, really hated President Bush.
But there were signs here also. The 95-year-old was crabby when she got to the door. She said that she was “very busy” (what does a 95-year-old do?) and, when she found out who we were, abruptly said that she fully intended to vote but she “wasn’t voting for Kerry.” Also, four ‘Kerry houses’ had Bush lawn signs (we didn’t knock; I assume that they voted anyway).
On Election Day, I got to the polls at 6:45. The line was around the corner. I wasn’t allowed in, but I introduced myself to the folks from the Sherriff’s office and set up a chair just outside the 50 foot line. With my “Florida Voting Rights Attorney” hat and Kerry/Edwards pin, I was conspicuous but not intrusive. As I suspected, I quickly realized that I wouldn’t have to do much anyway. The lines for precincts 341 and 357 were almost entirely white, and any challenge-shenanigans were expected to occur in minority precincts. Not only were there no shenanigans, the operation was seamless. In the morning, the sherriffs were sending people to me if they didn’t know their precinct so I could call the Supervisor of Elections and get it for them (the Pinellas county office was remarkably efficient) and I probably helped over 20 people get to the correct precinct. When the clerk found out that I was a Kerry volunteer, she asked the sherriffs to stop, but they were apologetic when they told me they had to stop. It was no big deal - the clerk had the same phone numbers that I did, and would call the same person - and since the morning rush was over I didn’t even really provide a material time advantage. I saved a bunch of people a lot of time in the morning, though. So I guess I still feel good about the work I did.
Random Observations
(1) I thought that the precincts I saw would be very evenly split based on people’s reactions when they saw my Kerry pin. I had no idea how right I was.
(2) The best political shirt I saw all year was on a first time voter. I’ve owned a camera phone for four days, so I forgot to save the picture, but her t-shirt said “BARELY LEGAL ... but old enough to vote”. She looked 15; thinking about having sex with her is prosecutable in 24 states.
(3) There was a bright yellow minivan parked in the best spot in the lot with the phrase “Banana Bread for the Troops” stenciled on the doors. The website bananabreadforthetroops.com was stenciled on the rear window, but there doesn’t appear to be a website there. You can, however, get their banana bread recipe here.
(4) A young kid, probably around 22, asked me to find his precinct. When I called the Supervisor of Elections, they told him that his registration was inactive. It was probably because he moves around a lot, and they got no response from him when they tried to contact him at his old address. His reaction? “This is bullshit. I’m not a felon. The only felony charge was knocked down to a misdemeanor.” He wanted to vote for Kerry.
Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to curl up into a ball and cry.
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