John McCain has based his campaign on three things: foreign affairs experience, military expertise and integrity. Amazingly, he isn’t particularly strong in any of these areas.
First, and most recently, John McCain has been caught wearing his see-through Emperor’s robe and the sight isn’t particularly pretty. He has somehow managed to alienate Spain - a NATO member and an ally in a lot of things that aren’t the War in Iraq - because he either doesn’t remember that they are an ally or has decided that he has something to gain from alienating Spain. I’m not sure which theory is worse.
As Washington Monthly’s Political Animal blog points out, this isn’t McCain’s major blunder when discussing foreign affairs - an area that is supposedly his strength:
Let’s also not lose sight of the broader pattern. McCain thinksthe recent conflict between Russia and Georgia was “the first probably serious crisis internationally since the end of the Cold War.” He thinks Iraq and Pakistan share a border. He believes Czechoslovakia is still a country. He’s been confused about the difference between Sudan and Somalia. He’s been confused about whether he wants more U.S. troops in Afghanistan, more NATO troops in Afghanistan, or both. He’s been confused about how many U.S. troops are in Iraq. He’s been confused about whether the U.S. can maintain a long-term presence in Iraq. He’s been confused about Iran’s relationship with al Qaeda. He’s been confused about the difference between Sunni and Shi’ia. McCain, following a recent trip to Germany, even referred to “President Putin of Germany.” All of this incoherence on his signature issue.
I’m curious. What do you suppose the reaction would be from the political establishment if Barack Obama had made these mistakes over the course of the campaign? What would reporters, pundits, and Republicans have to say about Obama’s ability to lead a complex world in a time of war and uncertainty?
I think an intellectually honest person would agree that if Obama had made these same mistakes he’d be labeled “clueless” on foreign policy. So, why the double-standard?
I wonder if his defense will be “John McCain has forgotten more about foreign affairs than you’ll ever know.” Because it is probably true. And he will keep forgetting because he is old and totally losing his marbles. In any event, it adds up to a lot more than Obama accidentally saying “57 states” one time. (And does anyone really believe that a man who went to high school in the 50th state didn’t know how many stars are on the flag? Compare that to the number of people who really believe that McCain doesn’t know the difference between Shi’ia and Sunni.)
For his Vice President McCain has chosen someone that has been to three, maybe four other countries in her life: Canada (a lovely place. reminds me of America but with a lot fewer Palins; also, pretty clearly as a tourist), photo ops in Germany and Kuwait (not Iraq; she saw Iraq the way Alaskans can see Russia) and possibly Mexico (unclear; she won’t provide the details of the trip. My theory: the only documentation is a photo of a 22 year old Sarah Heath swallowing the worm at a Tijuana dive, which is not exactly gravitas-lending). Also, her plane to Kuwait stopped in Ireland for fuel (and in the official bio? That counts!) So it isn’t like McCain’s got a foreign-policy backstop.
Issue 2? Military affairs. This is possibly an even bigger crock of shit, despite the unbelievable courage John McCain displayed in a Vietnamese POW camp.
Let’s go to the scorecard: McCain was a terrible student at Annapolis. I support the idea of drinking and fucking one’s way through college. If I had to do college over again, I’d like to think that I could make that my experience. Hockey games and fear of rejection were an inadequate substitute, no matter how good the hockey was. It still doesn’t count as worthwhile “military experience” when you finish in the bottom of your class because your dress whites are on the floor of a different Maryland debutante’s bedroom every weekend. Alas, because McCain’s dad was an Admiral, he got to blow off class and screw to his heart’s content, secure in the knowledge that as long as he wasn’t caught fucking another Admiral’s wife, he’d be allowed to be a fighter pilot when he graduated anyway. And, as expected, he was allowed into the elite fighter pilot program, in which the Navy was more forgiving of him than the DA’s office was of JFK Jr. In fact, McCain crashed more planes than John John failed bar exams. (This one turns out not to be true. Apologies; he was apparently a pretty good pilot. I really liked that line, too. -ed.) Including, in the end, the plane that was shot down. While getting shot down isn’t evidence that McCain was a bad pilot… it isn’t exactly evidence that he was a good pilot. Anway, this leads inexorably to to the signature story of McCain’s biography: his time in a POW camp.
Let me say this about McCain’s time in captivity: I don’t pretend that I could have done what he did for a second. Perhaps, under the proper conditions, I’d surprise myself but my working premise is that I am a pain-averse pussy. For that I commend him. He showed extraordinary honor and courage in refusing to jump the line and endured more horrible suffering than anyone I will ever know will experience. That said ... stewing in a cramped prison cell and getting the shit beat out of you is not tactical military experience. Wesley Clark, as impolitic as it was to say, was correct. If anything, being locked in prison and tortured for five years fucks you up a bit, it doesn’t improve you.
He also seems to think that the reason we lost the Vietnam War is that we stopped fighting - that we lacked the will to keep sending young men to die for an increasingly irrelevant, symbolic objective. Though people fault Obama for attributing to McCain the allegedly false claim that we could be in Iraq for another 100 years, is it fair for me to say that if it were up to Senator McCain we’d have been in Vietnam for another 100 years? I’ve already addressed what I think of McCain’s support for the surge.
The last issue? His integrity. I don’t think I need to discuss where that’s gone. I’ll just point you here.
And while we’re on a McCain bashing spree, here’s Chris Kelly at HuffPo:
"Evil must be defeated!”—John McCain 8/16/08
“Enough is enough! We’re going to put an end to greed!”—John McCain 9/17/08
It’s inspiring to know that John McCain has a plan to end greed. I just hope it doesn’t distract him from his mission to defeat evil. Either way, it has to kick the shit out of whatever Barack Obama’s got on the docket, with his empty words and pie-in-the-sky promises.
America’s choice is clear. Barack Obama, a messianic egomaniac who thinks he’s, like, our savior or something, or John McCain, who will defeat evil and put an end to greed.
Anyway, read the whole thing because there is plenty of evidence that McCain should barely be allowed to vote, much less run the country.
Also, I promise to edit the next time I post something.