Where Sam doesn't play anymore ...Rick's Cafe Americain

As I was getting ready to leave for the Churchwarden’s, I checked my email for the first time in a staggering four hours.  (I usually hit refresh like a rat in a heroin experiment.) I found out that the Churchwarden was sick and was cancelling the game for the night.  This was particularly disappointing because Brother of Ugarte had agreed to play, and we were going to have a table of eight for the first time in memory.  And then, like a ray of sunshine from the heavens, Helmut announced that he would pick up the slack and host a game.  As long as the players at the Abbey respond quickly, we still have a game…

Helmut, Brother and I are in.  Joel (not the one from the Parrot) is in.  Former nemesis (one can only be upset for so long) Heidi(!) was coming.  I gave a quick call to Nixma and invited him to join me at the game - with the carrot of a ride up to the A.M. tournament as part of the bargain: IN.  We’ve got six, so we can play some cards.

Once again, I started the night poorly.  Four handed, the table opted to stay away from the 2/4 games; the blinds come around too fast and a short-handed table encourages loose play.  We weren’t looking to make the game too expensive.  Helmut started with five card draw.  Strangely enough, this put Nixma at a huge disadvantage.  Although none of us really know the odds in a game of draw, Nixma actually DOES know the odds in hold ‘em.  Not only did it bring him back to the pack, I think being out of his comfort zone tilted him a little.  On the hand I remember, he underbet two pair on the deal and got sucked out when Joel caught his flush on the draw.  A lesson he learned about protecting his hands in hold ‘em was quickly learned again for a new game.

I got burned a few hands later, when the table filled up and we started playing hold ‘em, when I was dealt 82s in the BB.  Heidi and Joel limped in, and the flop was A-A-2.  I felt that I had to bet out against the limpers to see where I stood.  I was confident nobody had an ace, but I was worried about a small pair.  Both players called.  The turn was another ace.  I was certain that nobody had the quads, so I bet out again.  Again, two callers.  The river couldn’t be a brick as far as I was concerned.  I kept getting called, and I didn’t want to get raised by a better hand - time to check call.  Joel beat me to the pot, though, and bet from the SB. Still, I have to call.  Heidi did also, and Joel showed 33 to scoop the pot.  Ouch.  I don’t think I could have played the hand any differently, though.  Joel can’t really be pushed off a hand; he’s either in or out.  Knowing this should be an advantage for me, but I haven’t been able to make it pay off.

The bittersweet hand of the day came when we were playing Omaha.  I don’t remember my whole hand, but it included a pair of Queens.  That is, I am told, a pretty good hand for a flop of Q-6-6.  (Though not the nuts. Right, Ferrari?) I didn’t think that a slowplay would work to my advantage, so I bet.  Brother came over the top and there were two other callers.  I called, to save the raising for the big bet on the turn - I didn’t want to cost myself money down the road. The turn was a brick and I checked to Brother.  He bet, one call, and I raised.  Again, two callers.  I was really hoping for a reraise, and in retrospect I think I cost myself a bet by check raising.  The turn was a 9, so there was no qualifying low. Unless Brother had 66, I was going to take a big pot.  I bet, Brother called, I think Heidi called as well.  Brother had Q6.  Ouch.  Flopping the bottom full house is exactly the kind of hand that either wins or loses a lot of money.  There was no suckout, but I was empathizing with Annie Duke when I watched the TiVo of her knocking out Howard Lederer in the WSOP Tournament of Champions.

The sweet hand of the day came much later during a hand of 7stud.  By the time we got to 5th street I had KJ/ATx.  Brother had a low pair showing (That low pair was a pair of aces, bro. - Brother of Ugarte So it was. You should have been betting much more. - Ugarte), but kept tossing in fifty cent bets.  Heidi had a low board, but I suspected that she had paired up a low card in her hole because she made a minimum raise on 4th street.  With my high cards and gutshot draw I thought it was worthwhile to take another card.  5th street almost saw another “incident.” I checked and Brother made another minimum bet.  Heidi again only called. All of this weakness screamed for a steal-raise, so I did.  $4 more to see 6th street.  Brother called.  Heidi pondered and pondered and pondered. And flashed her hole cards to Nixma and asked for advice (none was given). She said “I’m out.” I considered that verbal declaration to be a fold. Because, you know, it is.  The table decided to let her change her mind and call the bet.  (Hey Diane! If you are wondering what really happens to the only woman at a poker game ...) I took a deep breath, dealt the cards and flipped over a Q for myself.  This time I just bet out the $5.  [EDIT: Brother folded and Heidi both called.] I didn’t care about my last card; I knew my straight was good. (That isn’t exactly true.  Heidi had suckered me into betting her hand for her in the past.) I bet out $5 again and was called twice again. The straight was good.  I can’t even remember what I was called with, but I do remember thinking that both Brother and Heidi had to assume I was bluffing to call me.  And Brother knows that I’m not really a bluffer. (Yeah, that’s why I folded on 6th St. - Brother of Ugarte)

At 10:15, Nixma and I had to cash out to head to the A.M. tournament. I was up $38.50; he was down $22.  Om had already rebought, Joel and Heidi were up.  Brother was down, though not as much as this post would make it seem.

Nixma and I were looking forward to the tournament, because it is the first in a series of $5 rebuy tournaments that are acting as supersatellites for a $70 buy-in tournament amongst the group with as many entries in Foxwood’s October 31 $500+65 no limit tournament as the buy-ins generate.

But it wasn’t to be.  A United Citizen’s Brigade bigshot happened to be in town and he took priority over the poker game. Unfortunately, we didn’t find out until we arrived at the door.  Ordinarily we would have found out sooner, but the message board where this would have been posted is apparently having domain name problems.

There was no reprieve from this cancellation.  I drove back to Helmut’s to pick up Brother of Ugarte.  I’ll fill in the tote board as I get the news, but so far ...

Joel: +$65.50
Ugarte: +$38.50
Heidi: -$1
Brother -$4.50
Nixma: -$22 (Never got any cards.  Ever.  More folding than a laundromat.)
Om: -$76.50

And the WSOP Tournament of Champions was waiting for me on the TiVo when I got home.  Apropos of nothing, Phil Hellmuth is a dick.

The early shift was the crew at the Parrot, featuring old standbys Pauly, Helmut, Coach, Swish, Joel and Diane.  Matt, a junior associate from the firm Rick and I left also joined the game at Coach’s invitation.  Coach refused to threaten the kid with extra work if he check-raised or slow played the nuts.  And I thought he understood the power of position.

The poker wasn’t particularly interesting most of the night.  I was steaming early, managing to lose almost $50 without really getting involved in much action.  I can’t even guess where the money went (with the exception of an Omaha hand where I had the second best hand both ways).  The play wasn’t the important thing anyway.  Most of the fireworks came when two recurring themes from the game again reared their ugly head: poor poker etiquette (Swish) and semantics (Ferrari).

Issue one: semantics.  Conversations between me and Ferrari have a tendency to drift to disagreement.  Unfortunately the disagreement is rarely about substance.  We always end up arguing over the definition of terms and so it was last night.  During a hand of Omaha/8, with a board of A-A-K-x, Swish jokingly asked “Is Ace-King a good hand here?” I replied, “It’s the nuts.” Ferrari protested, claiming that pocket aces were the nuts.  I conceded that pocket aces would be a better hand, but impossible hole cards if someone was holding AK, ergo AK would be the nuts as well.  Ferrari said that since two players could have AK, and therefore a chop was possible, it was improper to call AK the nuts.  I disagreed, arguing that since the wheel is indisputably the nut low, and it is possible that more than one person can have the wheel, the fact that more than one person could have AK did not make it less ... nutty, for lack of a better word.  Ferrari responded that the wheel was always the best hand; aces full isn’t the best high hand, so a possible chop with AK makes the term inaccurate.

And then the shouting started.  It wasn’t verge-of-violence shouting; it wasn’t insulting-your-mother shouting.  Still, it was heated. I still believe that Ferrari is talking total nonsense, but I throw the question to the crowd.  (Sidenote: Had Ferrari said “If someone has A-A-K in their hand, they would be holding quads, and that would beat their own aces full, I’d have smiled and given him the argument on a technicality.  But since I thought of it, ignore the sidebar when evaluting the premise on the table: Is AK the nuts on that board?)

Issue two: Etiquette.  I like Swish, sincerely.  He is a very funny guy.  He is a genuinely nice person.  And, as a bonus, he is somehow both a calling station and a wild bluffer.  He has good nights, and the variance from his wild play means that he has had some extraordinary nights, but he usually loses a lot of money.  In almost all respects, he makes a great addition to any poker table.  Still, he does a lot of things that in any well-policed game wouldn’t be allowed.  First, he string bets. ("I call and raise $4.") Second, he fake bets. ("Raise. Just kidding. Call.") Third, he acts out of turn all the time.  He was sitting on my immediate left.  I gently reminded him at least a half-dozen times that he acted ahead of me.  I firmly tapped him on the shoulder when he did it again.  When it happened for the, roughly, twelfth time I finally just yelled “Swish, I’m right fucking here!”

Perhaps I overreacted.  Maybe its just me that has a stick up his ass about acting properly.  It wouldn’t be the first time.  I don’t mind when people make mistakes; I’ll point them out and calmly explain why they were wrong.  But when someone so consistently flouts the rules - whether intentionally or becuase he can’t be bothered to care or pay attention - it becomes a question of respect.  So I was more than a little upset with Swish.  Waiting your turn is essentially a kindergarten principle, and it steams my ass that the table considers me the petulant one for having the audacity to care.  The argument that the game is loose and casual doesn’t cut it with me.  Most of the simple courtesies of poker play are designed to enhance fairness, not just order.  Pretending that a game with pots that get over $100 shouldn’t require just a little bit of attention is bullshit.  So I guess I’m still a little upset.

As for my play, I came from behind mostly on the strength of two hands.  First, in Omaha/8, Diane and Matt, two players that should NEVER play Omaha/8 until they get past the notion that TPTK is a good hand (as Diane admits), called me to the river when I had trips on the flop.  The trips didn’t improve, but they held up.  There was no qualifying low, so I scooped a pot of over $40.  Second, on the last hand of the night, 7-stud/8, I started with 84/2 and by the river had 84/321.  I bet on fourth street and started capping the betting on fifth street as two high hands played back and forth at eachother.  I never did make my wheel, but my low held up and half of that pot was close to $55.

Hand of the night: After an insane amount of betting on the flop, the turn and the river, the pot was probably over $70.  The board read A-2-3-5-6.  With all of that calling, you had to assume that somebody had a 4.  Of course, since the people Ferrari was playing against were Matt and Diane (see above) this assumption was false.  Diane played a qualifying low that didn’t include a 4 and a pair of aces for high.  Matt didn’t have a four either and couldn’t even beat Diane’s aces.  Ferrari had the wheel, and assumed that he was going to chop low three ways and hope that nobody was holding 47 for the high.  He scooped the pot and I told him that while he could keep the cash, he wasn’t allowed to count the winnings on the tote board. It was just too unseemly.  The tragedy of it all is that we played Omaha at Diane’s request. Ouch.

I am told that the game broke up at 5:30AM, with Ferrari down to “only” +$250.  Pauly was playing tigher than usual and I think it hurt his game.  He may improve in the long run as a result, but I think he is experiencing growing pains.  Coach played his usual tight game and finished +14.  Helmut had his usual swings; he was near the felt early and then rallied hard enough that he was close to level when I left.  Joel left when I did short $30.  Diane lost a LOT of money.  Swish and Matt both appeared to be up.  I finished +$21 [UPDATE: I paid Pauly the $10 I owed him for entry into his NFL pix pool with a chip, so I actually finished up $31. - ed.] and headed uptown to A.M. II, but I leave it to Pauly to report the final numbers.  Don’t hold your breath, as he will probably sleep in until sundown. [You can exhale now.  Pauly’s recap is up. -ed.] Diane is still young, so she can get in late and still wake up early, so her recap is already live.

The buyin at A.M. II is $20, so this was essentially a freeroll for me.

When I arrived, Waddell was in the process of slowplaying himself out of the game.  He made a minimum post-flop bet with pocket jacks on a king high board and then moved in on the turn.  Unfortunately, his small flop bet priced in JCatz and his bottom pair, which became bottom two pair on the turn.  Two pair was good, and Waddell left, steaming.  Remaining at the game were G, Buster, Mullaney and Sheffield.  And Nixma.

After roughly four hours of play, at a .25/.50 NL game with a $20 buy in, Nixma had over $170!  I’ve never seen a table tilted so far in one direction at a ring game.  I ended up playing some of the best poker of my life, but I still ended up losing because of one hand that I knew I was playing poorly.

My good play was mostly from laydowns.  I limped in from the small blind (T9o) with only a few limpers ahead of me.  The flop was T-x-x and I bet the pot ($1.50).  Nixma called from the BB and the rest of the limpers bailed.  A K came on the turn.  I bet $4 to see where I was at and found out when Nixma raised me to $12.  I thought for a good long while, but I credited him for the king and mucked my hand.  He showed me KQo, which is a nice pickup in the BB, and I patted myself on the back.  I made a few other good laydowns throughout the night, but the one that got away was expensive.

Sheffield made the standard table raise of $1.50.  I had ... oh, dammit, I’ll say it ... the Hilton Sisters, so I reraised him to $4, JCatz called (he’s on a draw!!!) and then Sheffield went over the top all-in.  The last time this happened to me here, Waddell had kings. (So fucking fold already.) I knew it was going to happen again, but it is so ... hard ... to ... lay ... down ... Queens. CALL.  JCatz angrily mucked JTs (he really wanted to play his draw multiway) and ... Aces.  Fuck.  Paint on the turn gave me a ray of hope, but it was a king and I had to reload.  No shame in that, really. Sheff had already reloaded twice.  JCatz had probably reloaded four times before I arrived and busted out again when I was there.  But I can’t believe that I called when I knew - with metaphysical certitude - that he had me beat.  Someday I will be a good enough player to lay down pocket queens.  Someday.

My move of the night was about a half hour later.  The pot had folded to Mullaney on the button, who raised to $1.  Sheffield called.  Is position raise. I call - with 98s in the big blind.  The flop is 9-7-7.  Sheff checks, and I check top pair to Mullaney, who bets $2.  Sheffield also thinks position raise and calls.  I pump it up another $10, slightly (and inadvertently) overbetting the pot.  Mullaney thinks ... and thinks ... and folds, crediting me for the seven.  Sheff also folds and the check raise works.  I think I had the best hand, but I really wasn’t looking for a call - too much on the turn would scare me.  I figure this post is giving away more information than I want to, but I was very happy with my bet.

For the record, the A.M. game has a real variety of play, hysterical coffeehousing, a vigor for both the game itself and keeping the game friendly and consistent respect for and enforcement of the rules and mores of the game.  It matters, people.  It really matters.

Adventures in Hammerland

Nixma introduced the concept of the Hammer to the UCB guys, and then G found a website by a player named “celeryman” (that I can’t find anymore) dedicated to the glory of 72o. [UPDATE: Here is the link, courtesy of Nixma.] We are now essentially required to play it.  And raise with it.  I scooped the blinds by raising with the Hammer under the gun once myself.  It is a stupid hand to play, but it really is exhilarating to show people what they folded to. The Hammer play of the night, however, goes to Mullaney.

With 5 players still in the game, Mullaney raised from the cutoff to $1.50.  Everyone called. (How is that for respect?) I had JTs in the SB, so the value was more than there for me.  No regrets.  The flop was A-x-x, nothing in my suit.  We checked to the raiser, and Mullaney threw out $4.  Everyone folded and Mullaney’s face looked like Christmas morning as he showed the table the Hammer to great acclaim.

Net for the night +$18.75 in 6 hours of “work.” The weather was chilly, but as expected, no rain.

Man, I love this game.

I got home late after Rosh Hashana, and decided to sweat Pauly for a little while.  Instead I instead ended up participating in a blogger’s convention at a .50/1 Limit table.  (And don’t think I’m not annoyed that Pauly beat me to print with the exact same phrase.  The cast at the table included Iggy, Al Can’t Hang from Dead Money, Otis from Up For Poker and Helixx from stfu.  Until I read Pauly’s short recap, I didn’t know that HDouble from Cards Speak was in the house as well. (Pauly, Iggy and HDouble all play on Party under pseudonyms different from their nom de blog.) It was a seriously crazy session.  I don’t know if these guys play rammerjammer at 10/20, but they sure do at .50/1.  I never really adjusted. Somehow I escaped unscathed if a bit humbled.  There are other recaps by Al and Helixx.

On my first three hands at the table I got playable hole cards that I had to fold on the flop.  All the folding prompted Iggy to type “BONUS CODE UGARTES” in the chat.  I took that to mean that I was just giving money away to the table.  Funny and accurate - if a touch cruel.  $3 down in seconds; time to tighten up.
Meanwhile, I signed up for a two-table $5+1 limit tournament.  Yes, I thought it was NL when I signed up.  Limit SNGs take forever; I wouldn’t play a two tables limit tourney on purpose. New plan: chill during the early levels and focus on PokerBlogCon 2004.

Of course, because I decided to tighten up at PBC, I was mostly focused on folding. BigWalt07 declared me dead after I folded an entire orbit at the loosest table in creation.  Iggy checked for signs of life by poking me with a stick in the chat.  Frankly, I’d rather he actually poked me with a hot stick than raise my big blind every time, but guess which one he did. 

I finally got into a hand by playing A♥T♥.  There was a heart on the king high flop, but with four people in the pot the implied odds to draw to the flush more than justified putting in $1 to see the turn.  I caught running hearts for the nut flush and scooped $19.  Helixx had aces and would have taken the hand easily if there weren’t so many callers.  I don’t know what Pauly had (he claims a pocket pair), but this calling station hand was not his finest moment.

I then returned to my previously scheduled strategy of folding and limp-folding.

Meanwhile, I was barely playing in the tournament.  It was almost halfway through Level 2 before I even played past the flop.  AA will do that.  I bet and raised my bullets all the way and caught a four flush on the river.  I didn’t even need the last club; my aces would have held up.  It was clear that this was a pretty fishy table; TPNK was enough for some of these guys to call the tightest player at the table on every card. I felt good about my chances.
The early chip leader was weak.  His name is DGVol1, so make a note. At Level 5 (100/200), a bit below average stack, I was dealt A8o and decided to raise it up.  I’m glad I did, because I got to witness the weakest play I’ve ever seen.  I capped the betting strictly because the guy was weak.  The flop was, for a capped hand, all bricks.  He bet, I raised, he called.  The turn was another brick.  Again he bet, again I raised.  By now I had put T1000 into the pot and I only had T90 behind my latest raise.  He still had over T2600 ... but he folded! That stupid play gave me almost T2000 and a comfortable chip position.

Back to the PBC.  Al Can’t Hang had become “Al Can’t Limp” and he was raising preflop on over 75% of the hands.  The nadir for me came when I called Al’s preflop raise with A2s, flopped (and then chased) a gutshot draw with my weak ace and lost when Al turned over 43o for two pair, saying “Don’t hate me.” For the record: I hate him.

HDouble checked in late, swinging his dick and buying in for $1000.  Not one to be outcocked, Iggy quickly loaded up to $1100.

Hand of the night: A7o in MP (as mentioned by Pauly).  I called a preflop raise along with four others.  The flop was A-6-6.  I raised to represent either a solid A or a 6 but still got three callers.  When the turn was a Q I felt comfortable that I was going to chop the pot; I didn’t put anyone else on AA, AK, AQ or a 6.  That plan was foiled when a 9 fell on the river and BigWalt07 paired his kicker.  Very disappointing.  Pauly called it a loose call in the chat, but I think with the board paired, a Q on the turn, a multiway pot and nobody representing a strong hand, a chop would be profitable.  I regret the result but not the call.

HDouble (who I did not know to be HDouble at the time) was, for some reason, calling me “Sugarte” or “Sugar.” He was also going out of his way to try to rile BigWalt07 and I had no idea why.  I thought he was just a random jerk and I called him to the river on a king high board with nothing but AJ.  He paired his king and got a second pair on the turn to boot.  I paid for it more in the chat than in my stack:

HDouble: sugar
HDouble: oh sugar
HDouble: aj?
AlCantHang: lucky it’s only .50/1
Pauly: ouch ugarte whats going on?
HDouble: no respect
Ugarte: that nails it
AlCantHang: stack don’t get you any respect
HDouble: give me some sugar

I didn’t even show. He just put me on AJ. Let me take this opportunity to apologize to HDouble - I wouldn’t have treated you like a leper had I known.  Then again, maybe the $5 I gave you on the hand because of my tilt is apology enough.

Iggy gave me a gut punch a few hands later.  I limped with 33, called Iggy on the flop (T-T-8) and then folded when an ace came on the turn.  After I folded, Iggy showed 94s.  Ouch.  In my defense, the river would have been a 4.  I know this with every ounce of my being, so it was a good fold.

One good hand can almost make up for a day of crap, though.  I raised from EP with jacks and got four callers.  The flop came A-9-8 with two hearts.  I bet out to support my preflop raise.  SpecialK3387 raised and I was one of three callers.  I decided to call the .50 because the pot was laying me 17:1 to kick in the last bet.  It paid off when the turn was a beautiful J.  Three of us capped the turn.  The river was a 9.  I was in a bit of a pickle.  The way SpecialK3387 was raising said to me that he hit his set on the flop.  If he had 88 I was golden; if he had 99 I was dead (I knew he didn’t have aces).  Fuck it.  If I lose with Jacks full, I was meant to be busted by this table.  We capped the betting again, though HDouble got out of the way when he missed his heart draw.  SpecialK3387 turned over 88 and I scooped $28.25.  My stack securely in the black at $34 I bid the table adieu and turned my attention to the tournament.

Lefty5556 and I took turns smacking around the rest of the table, though Lefty5556 got most of DGVol1‘s stack.  When heads-up started, I was down T15423 to T4577.  The poker gods were kind to me, however.  In the space of 12 hands, I got full houses four times and won the tournament.

+$43 for the day. Not enough to pay the bills, but certainly enough to Party on. 

Although every online poker player I know raves about Party, “because of all the fish”, I have traditionally avoided Party Poker like the plague—because of all the fish.  While I have managed to be modestly profitable on most of the sites I’ve played on (of which Bugsy’s Club and Poker Stars are in my opinion the best), every time I fund my Party Poker account I lose it all, and it always seems to be because of some idiots chasing down every last hand or raising and re-raising (usually in the dark) with garbage to scare out my strong hands.

Still, after the Bar Exam, I decided to consolidate my poker accounts (due to the now-defunct traveling blogger’s tourney, I had opened accounts at a variety of truly awful sites, including True, Planet and Choice), and put it all into a Party account.  I was determined to take another stab at it, since everyone else seems to be making money over there.  With $200 and the clarity that comes from a month of not playing poker, I re-entered the Party.

Big mistake.  I lost $50 almost at once at a 1-2 hold ‘em table that seemed to be populated by me and nine randomized bots.  NOBODY folded to my raises, and EVERYBODY raised pre-flop.  I was hopelessly outmatched, since none of my “traditional” strategies were of any use to me.  I eventually started chasing and bluffing too, and soon lost the other $150.

Daunted, but certain that it was them, not me, I put in another $100 and played only $10 sit-n-gos.  The quality of play was pretty much the same, but in the sit-n-go context this is a plus early on, as you sit back and watch them knock each other out.  I can sometimes make it into the money in those things just by posting and folding until and unless I get a big pair, and then going all in.  Also, you can play for 2 hours and not lose more than the buy-in.  Of course, you can also play for two hours and not win anything.  Because I often just want to play for 30 minutes or so, however, I was soon drawn back into the ring games.  Getting rivered repeatedly makes me go on tilt, so I soon lost all my money.

I put in $200 more, determined to move up to higher-stakes games where I assumed the play would be better.  It was just as bad in 3-6, so I put in another $200 and sat down at the 5-10 tables.  Here, at least, the play seemed noticeably better.  Not free of idiots, but at least I felt like I had a handle on the table.  Sadly, $200 is not enough to weather a string of bad cards and bad beats at a 5-10 table, and soon found myself $700 in the hole.  Wake-up call.

So, did I stop?  Actually, I did.  I quit, because $700 was way more than I could afford to lose, and I felt like I was behaving like a gambling junkie.  So I quit. 

For a while.  The $700 loss was really weighing on me.  Not only because it was irresponsible and because we needed that money, but because I thought I was a better poker player than that.  So I made a deal with myself: $1000 and you’re done.  Forever.  I put in $300, and vowed to play with discipline, restraint, and intelligence.  If I lost the final $300, that would be it.  No poker, ever again.

I played pretty solid for a few weeks, always hovering around $300.  I discovered that I’m less likely to get hosed at 7-stud ring tables, either because I’m better at it than I am at Hold ‘Em or because the greater information makes you less likely to get surprised by someone playing totally irrationaly.  So I played 7-stud ring games and NL sit-n-gos.  I played focused, and I played my best, and I was more or less breaking even.  I analyzed my play very carefully, and I’ve managed to rein in significantly my tendency to go on tilt.  I still see myself making plays I know are wrong, and I’ve discovered it usually is spurred by an instinct to gamble—to see if I can’t catch some of the luck that I see all the fish profiting from.  I know that that is a bad instinct, and I also know (because I’ve been paying more attention to that) that the fish are losing money.  The guy who cleans up hand after hand, and has everyone cursing at him for his huge stack of rivered loot?  Stay at the table with him long enough, and I can pretty much guarantee you’ll see him rebuy at least once.

So my online play has improved, and I’m not in danger of losing all my cash, but I’m also not showing a profit over time.  After much consideration over the next month, I decided that what was keeping me from making a profit was the “fish factor”.  At the 1-2 and even 2-4 tables, I don’t earn enough to offset the occasional big pot lost to someone who called raises while dominated until the river handed him my stack.  So, I decided to try the higher stakes again.  Based on my experience in 5-10, I figured 10-20 would be even freer of idiots. This was a correct assumption, but a dumb move.  If $200 wasn’t enough for 5-10, no way was $300 going to cut it at 10-20.

Still, I got lucky.  I got a string of great cards early on, and last night I won back the full $1000 playing 10-20 7-stud on Party.  Part of me wants to cash it out and walk away from Party, but another part of me knows I can parlay it into a big profit.  When the two parts sit down to talk about it, though, they tend to want to compromise by cashing out the $1000 (or most of it) and going back to the low-stakes table.  I don’t see that as a realistic option, however, because I just believe that there is too much luck at work down there (and correlatively too much incentive for me to gamble).  Still, I haven’t been playing at the 10-20 tables long enough to know whether my gains will continue over the long term.  And now that I know that Karol is on Party, well . . . where’s my tackle box?

BCS Conference Rankings

In my season preview, I gave the nod to SEC as the top conference in America, with the Big Ten and the ACC close behind.  As discussed below, the Big Ten has surged to the top after one full week of action.  Also, there is a race for the sixth spot between the Big East and non-BCS Conference USA.

6. The Big Least, I mean East.  In my season preview, I suggested that the Big East, while one of the 6 BCS conferences, might not be one of the 6 best conferences.  After week one, however, it looks like only one Mid-Major conference that can compete for the 6th spot is Conference USA.  The upper echelon of the MAC got demolished this weekend (see below).  The WAC is only a two team conference (Fresno St. and Boise St.).  While both of those teams would have a shot at winning the Big East, the overall conference depth is clearly below the Big Least.  The Moutain West is ok, and Utah might be better than any Big East team, but the drop off after Utah is too steep.  The Sun Belt is the worst conference in America.  Conference USA, however, is loaded.  Louisville shut out Kentucky, Memphis beat Ole Miss (that’s two wins over the SEC), UAB destroyed Baylor and TCU beat Northwestern (though they did get out played at home as the favorites and got a lucky win).  Each of those four teams would have a shot at winning the Big East.  Additionally, Cincinnati and Southern Miss are teams that could play in the Big East.  As for the Big East itself, West Virginia looked good, Rutgers continued there rise with an upset over Michigan State, Boston College struggled with a crappy MAC team, UCONN looked solid, Temple still sucks and Syracuse got obliterated by Purdue.  A possible litmus test game between South Florida (CUSA) and Pitt (Big East) was rescheduled due to Hurricane Francis.  Pay attention to the next couple of weeks, with some big wins, Conference USA could slide into the 6th spot.

5. Pac-10.  Barring some shocking turn of events, the Pac-10 will sit in the five spot all season.  Oregon State almost pulled the huge upset over LSU, but this is still a conference with only one top tier team and a few middling teams…it can’t compete with the Big Four.

4.  Big 12.  No big news, other than that Texas A&M showed that they might be as bad as they were last year (and if they aren’t, Utah is damned good) and Kansas St. struggled with Western Kentucky.

3. ACC.  Even less to report.  Maryland narrowly avoided being upset by Northern Illinois again, but no big surprises otherwise.

2. SEC.  The SEC lost some luster last weekend.  LSU got outplayed and should have lost to Oregon State (3 missed extra points and a bad call late in the game that would have given Oregon St. the ball at midfield with less than 5 minutes to go with an 8 point lead) and Georgia struggled with and gave up 294 rushing yards to Div. 1-AA Georgia Southern.  Additionally, Mississippi lost to C-USA Memphis and Kentucky was crushed, 28-0, by C-USA Louisville.  No, this doesn’t cause alarm bells to go off, but it is enough for the SEC to slide behind the Big-10.

1. Big 10.  Michigan won by 33 over Miami, OH, who was still trying to ride the wave of last years top 15 ride (though the game was closer than the score indicates) and Ohio State looked solid polishing off Cincinnati.  But it wasn’t the play of the big 2 that gives the Big Ten its boost to top conference dog, it was the rest of the Big 10’s big six.  Minnesota, playing against pre-season MAC favorite Toledo, simply destroyed the Rockets 63-7 in a game that was only made that close by two garbage time Toledo touchdowns and Purdue matched a smothering defense with its always explosive offense to route Syracuse 56-0.  Wisconsin and Iowa also crushed lesser opponents (though the Badgers lost Anthony Davis for a few weeks, which will hurt).  Additionally, Penn State tried to make the claim that I should be referring to a big 7, rather than a big 6 by routing Akron ― we’ll see how they do against Boston College next week.  Even lowly Indiana and Illinois won easily.  Michigan St. losing to Rutgers was a disappointment.  Rutgers is an up and coming team, but they are still Rutgers.  Also, Northwestern lost to C-USA TCU, but the Wildcats were big underdogs, outplayed tough mid-major TCU and only made one of six field goals (including two OT misses) in a game they should have won.  All in all, after one week of college football, the Big Ten looks like the toughest conference top to bottom.

Disappointment of the Week

This one is easy.  The Mid-American Conference.  The MAC had a great year last year.  Northern Illinois knocked off a bunch of BCS teams, and they were only about the 5th best team in the conference.  Marshall knocked off Kansas State.  Bowling Green beat Purdue.  Toledo was better than both of those teams and Miami of Ohio finished in the top 15.  The MAC was hoping to claim the title of best non-BCS conference, but last weekend eliminated that possibility.  Bowling Green and Miami of Ohio did not get embarrassed, but both were outclassed by Oklahoma and Michigan.  No big deal, the Sooners and Wolverine will beat teams in their own conferences worse.  However, pre-season favorite Toledo getting utterly destroyed by Minnesota and Marshall losing to Troy, turned the weekend sour.  Northern Illinois almost upset Maryland again, but couldn’t quite pull it off, giving the MAC no major victories.  The MAC is still a nice little conference that deserves respect, but when only 3 of 14 teams have winning records after week one, you can’t claim to be playing with the big boys.

What to Watch For This Week

Miami vs. Florida St. on Friday night is obviously the game of the week, but pay attention to the mid-majors this weekend.  Utah travels to Arizona, Boise St. hosts Oregon St. (Friday), Fresno St. travels to Kansas St., Troy hosts Missouri (Thursday) and Southern Mississippi goes to Nebraska.  Utah is a big favorite over Arizona and should roll, but that will still be another BCS scalp for the Utes.  Also, Arizona might be the only team standing in the way of an undefeated season for Utah.  The rest of those match-ups are potential statement games; however, Boise St. is a surprising 8 point favorite on Oregon St., considering State’s performance in Baton Rouge last weekend.  If Fresno St. and Boise St. can win this weekend, look for the winner of their eventual match-up (they play October 23rd), to go undefeated and make some BCS noise. 

The Buckeye Report

Ohio State looked good against Cincinnati and pretty much how I expected (hoped) they would look.  Let’s start with the defense.  OSU had seven new starters, so some in the media had questioned whether this year’s defense would be as strong as last years.  But that stat is somewhat misleading when you take into account transfers, guys who were injured last year and guys who were all but starting last year, so I was not surprised when the defense was, again, dominating.  The Bearcats only mustered 6 points (both FGs helped by OSU turnovers), and had no sustained drives, no big plays and just over 200 yards in total offense.  Critics will say that Ohio State had no turnovers and no sacks; however, that was largely the result of conservative play calling by Bearcat head coach Mark Dantonio (who was OSU’s defensive coordinator last year).  Teams often avoid playing the Buckeye’s defense “straight-up”, relying on short passes, roll outs and misdirection, but don’t worry, the sacks and turnovers will come.  Still, if I am looking for weaknesses, I’d like to see better push by the defensive line.  Our linebacking situation is better than last year and the secondary is probably close and might be better as the season goes on, but, as of now, the D-Line is not “as” dominating as it was last year.  Overall though, it looks like the Buckeyes have one of the top, if not the top, defenses in the country yet again.

On offense, I saw a lot to be excited about.  Justin Zwick made some passes that Craig Krenzel could only dream about making and looks like he could be a great one.  However, he also made some mistakes (fumbles, interceptions) that Craig never would have made.  But, it was his first start and I suspect he will be able to iron out those issues.  Of course, Troy Smith saw time as well and some are calling for him to be the starter based on his beautiful fade pass to Santonio Holmes.  Unfortunately, Tressel otherwise kept him under raps so it is hard to get a read on Troy, but he looks to be more than serviceable if anything happens to Zwick.  I don’t buy into the QB controversy that some are suggesting, it looks to me like Zwick will be the man, but Tressel will give Smith some chances as well, which is fine by me.  I’d love to see some misdirection and fancy plays involving Troy this year.

The running game put up big numbers, with both Lydell Ross and freshman Antonio Pittman rumbling, but I still have serious questions about our running game.  It did not look good early in the game.  In fact, it looked awful up until Lydell’s 68 yard rumble.  The offensive line was not opening holes, Lydell Ross was not creating holes and he wasn’t finishing off runs strong.  I am not sure if things opened up later because our execution got better or because we simply wore out the Bearcats.  Frankly, I don’t think we’ll find out until at least the N.C. State game if Ohio State can run the ball with authority on a good team, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up.  I don’t see this being a dominating offensive line and Lydell Ross is, at best, a decent running back.  If the Buckeyes have a solid running game this year, we should be happy with that.

Turning to the wide receivers, Holmes looks like he will pick-up where he left off last year, Bam Childress was a pleasant surprise and it is great to see that Zwick seems able to find him.  He could pile up a lot of RAC this year.  Down the road, Ted Ginn will hopefully be doing much the same and game one shows that Tressel and Co. are serious about working this guy into the offense and throwing more.  Hamby looks solid at tight end.  The one guy that needs to step-up and show me something is Roy Hall.  The one thing the Buckeyes offense is lacking is the big, tall go to receiver (well, leaving aside Maurice Clarett).  Hall needs to try and become that guy, but he may not be able to do it.

Kicking game looked solid.  Only one punt, so jury is still out there, but Nugent is a weapon as a placekicker.

Overall, things look just like I expected.  The Ohio State defense might just be as good as last year, maybe even better.  The offense will be more productive, but it will also be more accident prone.  Ohio State should be better than every team on its schedule until Michigan, but N.C. State, Iowa, Wisconsin and Purdue are all teams to be reckoned with.  My concern is that we will lose one of those games because of offensive mistakes ― it will certainly be a lot harder to beat those three with a -3 turnover margin like we had against the Bearcats.  Krenzel may not have always moved the ball well, but over the last two seasons, he didn’t cost us any games by giving up points.  If Zwick can figure out how to do that AND keep throwing for 200+ yds a game, look for us to be 10-0 when the Maize and Blue come to Columbus.

Go Buckeyes!

It started where one might expect: at the poker table.  But I try to keep poker in its ghetto, so you can read about my time at the table here.

On Thursday I performed at New York Comedy Club.  It was my first time performing in a show where the producer was actually going to watch me.  Buddy Flip, who teaches comedy classes, has taken over the New Talent Showcase (read: bringer show) at NYCC and has instituted some changes.  For the better: he is going to watch and comment on the performance; the comics accumulate points from show to show with achievable targets to get spots in the professional show at NYCC and The Improv.  For the worse: the bringer quota has gone from three to four.  I had to scramble to get my quota, but when I rang the alarm for help, Francis, Rose, Little D and Charlie came through for me.  Then, as an added bonus, some of my law school pals who have left NYC- Julie and Gejaa - happened to be in town and they came with Alexei. Seven guests for the show puts me almost halfway to a spot in the professional show under the new regime.  Thanks everyone!

And then I had a great set.  I was doing some material for the first time and it went incredibly well.  The new jokes rolled off of my tongue and the crowd - small as it was - really got into the set.  It was a great feeling to really have a room.  My friends, not surprisingly, all said good things.  I like hearing positive responses from friends because I know that my friends are the sort to call bullshit on a half-assed performance or an underwritten (or plain old bad) joke. But it was the compliments from the other comics that really made my night.  One of the other performers told me that he really liked the way I wrote.  That meant a lot to me, since I try to choose my words carefully.  I’ve seen so many comics ruin genuinely funny, original concepts by refusing to take the time to really structure a joke to take advantage of their premise.  Buddy also had very good things to say.  He thought the material was good and original (I agree); he told me that I need to tighten up some of the jokes (I agree); he told me that I was a moron because I don’t own a tape recorder so I can listen to my act (I agree).  He also said that I should try to write more about myself and less, I guess it would be called “observational” humor.  I’m not sure I agree with that.  I try to write funny about whatever comes into my head.  Right now I think it would be a mistake to define myself too soon.  I’ll just keep writing as the ideas materialize and let the chips fall where they may.

On Friday night I invited a small group of friends over for dinner and low-stakes poker.  That is also going in the latest Grovel, so I won’t write about it twice.

On Saturday, I went to The U.S. Open.  My brother and I get grounds passes for the middle Saturday every year.  A grounds pass allows you into every court except Center Court at Arthur Ashe Stadium.  Brother of Ugarte and I realized years ago that Labor Day weekend is a great time for the outer courts.  You don’t necessarily see the top ranked players, but you do get to see great matches between top 25 players on the outer courts.  We got to see #22 Dominik Hrbaty beat #15 Paradorn Srichaphan and #5 Tim Henman play a great five-setter against qualifier Michal Tabara. 

Of course, we also had some friends shuttle us in to Arthur Ashe by going in and then having one person bring us their tickets so we could go in.  In Arthur Ashe we saw #27 Mary Pierce knock off reigning Wimbledon champion (and total hotness) Maria Sharapova and #6 Andre Agassi destroy #25 Jiri Novak.  That was a lot of tennis - too much, actually - but the weather was great, and it got us in the right mood for ...

Meatfest.  Brother of Ugarte and I blow the doors off of every Labor Day weekend with a kick-ass BBQ.  The motto of Meatfest is “We don’t fuck around,” and this year stayed true to form.  We had almost 60 people at the apartment and served: Hot dogs and burgers (beef, turkey and Garden); Italian sausage (hot, sweet, fennel, broccoli rabe, cheese&parsley, veal) and chorizo from a pork store in Bensonhurst; fresh kielbasa from a Polish grocer in Park Slope; a roasted pork loin with a great savory rub from Fresh Direct; another marinated pork tenderloin provided by poker buddies Helmut and Sous Chef; chicken (barbecue, lemon-garlic and a spicy Pakistani-style marinade); a three-foot Usinger’s Summer Sausage sent from Milwaukee; a hard salami; gourmet cheese (fresh buffala mozzarella, camembert, garlic and herb goat cheese, and Somerset cheddar); sundry appetizers and grilled vegetables.  For desert, fresh baked baked (by our guests) brownies, chocolate chip cookies, gingerbread and chocolate-banana bread, a German chocolate cake and a fruit platter. Also, good beer and a fully stocked bar.  We even had a celebrity cameo.  The weather, while a bit chilly, did not include rain for the first time in the five-year history of Meatfest.  The day could not have gone better.

I was also buzzing from a message from Boudoir Bar.  A little over a week ago I had an audition at Boudoir Bar.  They have invited me back to be one of the rotating hosts of their Saturday late-night burlesque show, Almost Midnight Burlesque.  Real old-time burlesque!  I am going to perfporm my comedy within a vaudeville-style show where I will serve as the emcee. Boudoir Bar is a hip wine bar on Smith Street in Carrol Gardens.  They also host a regular comedy show on Saturday nights at 9:30 - Brooklyn Brew Ha Ha - that I am not yet seasoned enough to perform in, but it is nice to think that I may get on ahead of schedule because of my connection to the bar.  Boudoir Bar was my first audition and I’m thrilled to have landed it.  My first hosting gig is going to be this coming Saturday.  They are doing a special show on the anniversary of 9/11 to celebrate the continuation of “life, love and liberty” through comedy, music and dance.  It sounds like a great time.

Comedy is going very well, so now might be a good time to get on the mailing list.  Send an email here to sign on.  I try not to pester the members more than once a week.  See you at a club soon, I hope.

I capped the weekend by watching the Yankees beat the Devil Rays 7-4 from a tier box behind home plate.  Brother of Ugarte and I are even going to get tickets to another game out of the deal since the night game was supposed to be an afternoon doubleheader.  The Yankees are offering all fans - whether or not they were able to attend the rescheduled game - tickets to a game later this year.  I figure that the Red Sox series is already sold out, but I’m going to try to see the Twins on the final homestand of the year.  They also gave out free hot dogs and Coke.  I probably shouldn’t have worn shorts, but otherwise it was a great finish to a great week.

Party Poker

I managed to piss away the money I had paid in, the money I had won (I never made enough to cash out), and the sign-in bonus.  I don’t have a job anymore, so I wasn’t planning on reloading.  When I paid $22 for a $20+2 SNG on Thursday, I knew I had to win or stay off of Party for a while.

I thought the tone of the table was set on the first hand when and luuluu52 went all in on a flop (K♦-Q♦-9) and chopped the pot with AKo (though Maximus_CSA had A♦ as well). TPTK isn’t a bad hand, but calling all-in on the first hand with a straight on the board, two pair a strong possibility and a flush draw seems like very loose action.  It turns out that most of the table was classic tight-weak.

luuluu52 lost her (?) reputation immediately.  On the second hand, she raised T175 preflop: 8xBB only to check an 8 high rainbow flop and fold to a T15 bet from masterhan on the turn. masterhan established himself as the table nutjob when he called a 10xBB on the third hand with K2o and went all in on a K-high flop.  Maximus_CSA had hit TPTK with AKo for the second time in three hands and had become the chip leader by almost a 3:1 margin.

It wasn’t until (ha ha) the fourth hand that I was able to get into the game.  I was dealt KK, made the table-standard 8xBB raise and got two callers.  When the pot came down with two jacks, I decided to test the table by betting the pot.  BOLSY33 and Borzi both folded. On the next hand, I flopped an open-ended straight draw after limping into a 6-way pot with K♦Q♦. BOLSY33 bet 15 and Borzi called, but I had already decided they were weak.  I raised the pot again and everyone folded.  Maximus_CSA was still the top stack with T2140, but I had T1195 and was sitting in second. On hand 6, masterhan went all-in with his last T40 holding T5s and flopped top two pair, jcb41 went over the top all-in with top pair and a flush draw and Seibukan called with BPTK, tripling-up masterhan and crippling Seibukan. Seibukan busted out on the hand 7 when he went all-in for his last T30 with T3o, flopped trips and lost as BOLSY33 yanked away most of what jcb41 had earned in hand 6 by rivering a flush.  And it is here that the hand-by-hand recap ends.  Eight hands in, and we have lost one player, seen another crippled and come back from the brink and a third climb high only to fall to earth. Crazy.

Over the next 7 hands, masterhan went all-in five times, slowly building his stack, but busting out when Maximus_CSA raised to 10xBB, jcb41 went over the top all-in, and masterhan thought this would be a good time to isolate jcb41 by going over the top himself.  Not this time.  Maximus_CSA called with KK and busted out both guys.  What did masterhan go over the top of two large bets with, you ask? A7s. Make a note. (jcb41 had gone all-in with AKo.)

We haven’t completed the second orbit and Maximus_CSA has T4315 and a colossal chip lead; I am in second with T1245. We have only six players left!  New diagnosis: Maximus_CSA is tight, but aggressive and I think he can be trapped.  BOLSY33 and Borzi are weak. luuluu is ... not sure yet, but I think easily pot-committed and the only other player (aiello4455) has no real definition, so I’ll guess tight.  Now that I have my reads, I have to play them.

I limp in with 55 (Presto!) and everybody folds to the blinds - B and B, who limp and check in turn.  The flop is 8-8♠-7♠.  BOLSY33 makes a minimum bet and I call.  The turn is A♥, same action.  I was sure he didn’t have the A with a bet like that.  The river is K♠, BOLSY33 makes the same bet, and I represented the flush by raising the pot.  True to form, he bailed out.  By the end of Level 3 I had played in 9 hands and never had to show down.

On the second hand of Level 4 I was dealt pocket jacks.  aiello4455 went all-in ahead of me for T465 and Maximus_CSA called.  I wanted to isolate the short-stack, who I didn’t put on a premium hand and I was hoping that Maximus_CSA would get out of the way since he still was the monster stack at T4515.  I went over the top all-in for T1500, but Maximus_CSA called.  aiello4455 had 77 and Maximus_CSA had KQs.  I thought that I was going to get bounced in third place when there was a K on the flop, but I rivered a jack and was suddenly the chip leader with T3515.

Maximus_CSA took another pounding early in Level 5 when he called BOLSY33’s preflop all-in (88) with AQo, but didn’t improve.  I pushed him further down a few hands later when, after making a small preflop raise with AKo, I checked TPTK on the flop to make sure I hadn’t run into a small set.  When he didn’t bet the flop, I made a minimum bet on the turn (call) and then induced a fold by betting the pot on the river.  If he went over the top I would have been able to get away with my stack intact, but he folded.  Probably on a flush draw.  BOLSY33 and I were both at around T3500 and the once mighty Maximus_CSA had fallen to T1000.

I realized that Maximus was playing from Ithaca, location of my alma mater.  I decided to ask him whether he was a Cornellian, but I have to say, the timing of my question seems cruel in retrospect: I raised his blind while we were talking and then called his over-the-top preflop all-in.  I called his JJ with A8o and spiked a 7 on the river to complete a gutshot straight and knocked him out of the tournament. So much for reminiscing about my time on the hill…

I thought I had BOLSY33 on our first heads-up hand.  I raised with ATo and he came over the top.  This is just too good a hand to lay down heads-up and I called.  He had A2o.  But there was a pair on the flop followed by running threes, so we chopped.  After we traded steals for a little while, I took the lead for good on a strange hand.

I limped in with 54o, ready to fold if he raised.  He didn’t.  The flop was A-A-3, two clubs.  BOLSY33 bet the minimum and I called with a gutshot draw.  And hit the gutshot on the turn.  Again BOLSY33 bet the minimum, but this time I made a baby raise to suck him out and he called.  The flop was a blank, and again BOLSY33 bet the minimum.  I went over the top all-in and he called ... with the HAMMER!!!  He committed almost his entire stack on the river with a CALL holding not only bottom pair, but bottom pair without a horrible kicker.  Two hands later I put him out of his misery when I pushed him all in with A3o and he called with a dominated Q3o.

My account now had $100.51, essentially where I started, less the signup bonus.  I had to play again immediately.

There isn’t much to say.  I played well, but with such a long recap of the first tournament, I am going to cut to the chase.  We were down to four handed.  Two players, KT82X and IHAVEAAAAK, were in the blinds (250/500) with roughly equal stacks of ~T3000; vizzance was on the bubble with T240 and I was hanging on to third with T820. vizzance called, putting himself all-in; I folded.  I figured the play would be simple.  KT82X would limp and the two big stacks would check it down to knock out the short stack.  Nope.  KT82X, foolishly fearing a reraise from the BB laid down his hand.  vizzance turned over K4o, and tripled up with K high.  I laid down QJo, hoping to see vizzance knocked out.  I would have made top two pair.  I was the beneficiary of a weak play like KT82X’s at the A.M. tournament last month and now I know exactly how Sheffield felt. Sort of.

On reflection, I think I should have pushed.  Adding my chips to the pot may have made the odds better for the big stacks and induced more action - I didn’t have enough for a comlete raise, so neither of them would have had to risk more than 25% of their remaining stacks. If vizzance and I both got knocked out on the hand, I would have ended up in the money.  Even losing the hand to vizzance is not much worse than letting vizzance triple his stack and push me onto the bubble anyway.  I got blinded away and ended up in third. 

I figured that vizzance, the only one of the last three that had any clue, would win from the short stack.  I was close.  vizzance ended up climbing into the chip lead, but he took a bad beat when KT82X made a stupid all-in call (QTo called A8o), but caught a T on the turn.  Short-stacked, vizzance went out when he bluff-raised 82o into KQo and got reraised all-in.  Pot committed, he had to call and lose.

Jerk Castle

Surrounded as I am in Prospect Heights by Carribean restaurants (I live two blocks from the terminus of the West Indian Day Parade).  In keeping with the neighborhood flavor and our personalities, Brother of Ugarte and I dubbed our apartment “Jerk Castle.” And Jerk Castle has started to host a little poker.

I have held off on hosting games here for two reasons: (1) as far as most New Yorkers are concerned, I live in the sticks and (2) the lighting in my apartment is terrible after dark.  We have been meaning to install high-hats or track lighting, but going on one year in the place we haven’t really made any effort to do so. But my girlfriend (let’s call her Zinester, for lack of a remotely good nickname) has decided that she likes playing for low stakes, and it seems like a good way to play more and hang out more.  Helmut came by along with two friends of Zinester’s.  Brother of Ugarte played also, making six.  Sous Chef had to work, so she bailed.

We ended up playing three winner-take-all $5 buy-in NLHE tournaments.  Helmut dominated play in the first tournament.  He was aggressive as hell early and, when called, had the cards to back up his bets.  Zinester also built quite a stack with tight, textbook play.  We got down to three-handed and I had the short stack.  The blinds were coming fast, so I went for a steal with T2o.  Helmut folded and Zinester started to contemplate a call.  The table essentially cajoled her into calling, so she did.  With 64o.  And she caught a 6 on the flop.  Game over for Ugarte.  Helmut came from slightly behind to win shortly thereafter.

I wish I remembered much about the next two tournaments.  I remember knocking Helmut out of one of the tournaments when I called his A7o with A9s.  I won both of the tournaments, so you would think that my recall would be better, but it wasn’t. It was a fun night, I won $45 (Zinester was a little surprised that I made her pay up) and I think we may make this a monthly thing.

Let me know if you are up for an occassional trip out to the hinterlands for a little low stakes action and dinner.