Tuesday, January 18, 2005
 Is this thing on?

I spent the majority of MLK weekend in Colorado. It was my first time on the slopes in five years and I was terrified about the trip. I wanted to see 34, after all. A toast to the person who invented parabolic skis for engineering my healthy return!

But I’m not going to talk about skiing (even though this was the best, most successful trip I’ve ever had). This is another post about how it pays to be aggressive as a comedian.


 34 is not old

Happy Birthday to me.

Real content, poker and otherwise, later.

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 Jumpin' Jive for the Cause

The sheer joy you get from attending Jumpin’ Jive doesn’t even take account of the worthiness of the cause.

Stay Free! is more than the great magazine of the same name that Zinester runs on a shoestring. Stay Free! is also responsible for Illegal Art, a forum (and traveling exhibit) for showing artistic work that copyright holders have tried to suppress.

New York Times and Slate writer Rob Walker called it “an important project” and one of his favorite websites. It has brought to a wide audience the innovative and hilarious Harry Potter parody Wizard People, Dear Reader and the critically acclaimed but besieged-by-the-music-industry Grey Album from DJ Danger Mouse.

Support Stay Free! and artistic freedom at Southpaw (5th Ave. between Sterling and St. John’s in Park Slope) on January 25.

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Monday, January 17, 2005
 I should be offended

... but I’m not because it is just too funny.

Somebody in Germany - or a group of somebodies - has been commenting on America (one assumes) by planting little U.S. flags in piles of dogshit. Thousands so far. Messages as general as this are hard to agree or disagree with. There are plenty of specific things worth a statement like that right now, but plenty of reasons why I’ve never seriously considered living in any other country.

In any event, the article is reading for the legal analysis alone.

Hat tip to Todd Morman, though not on his blog.

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Wednesday, January 12, 2005
 SHENANIGANS!!!

Some in the media are declaring Million Dollar Baby “the odds on favorite to win Best Picture” (NPR this morning), A.O. Scott declared it the “best movie delivered by a major Hollywood studio this year” and critics are fawning all over this movie. Don’t you believe it.

Does Million Dollar Baby have strong performances by three excellent actors?  You bet.  Is it a better, more intelligent movie than typical Hollywood fare?  Oui.  Does it have a formulaic and somewhat wooden and jerky plot structure that only works because of great actors and a good director?  Oh yes.  Does it deserve to be considered for Best Picture?  Not at all. 

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Tuesday, January 11, 2005
 Tsunami: Coming soon to your godless town

Karol is upset with Congressman Rob Simmons (R-CT) for awkwardly stating the truth: the overstated, and largely fictitious impending collapse of Social Security is far enough in the future that an overhaul of the system shouldn’t be an immediate legislative priority.

If she really wants to criticize her own, she should go after Tom DeLay who understands why the tsunami happened. Not surprisingly, it was because the victims aren’t believers. Does that also explain the attacks on New York and Washington, D.C., Congressman?

Hat tip to Daniel Radosh.

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 Planning for the scheduled bankruptcy of Social Security?

In addition to posting my schedule here, I have a mailing list (which you can sign up for on the left). Most people sign up using their work email addresses, so I get a lot of annoying out-of-office autoresponses. Today I got a great one:

I will be out of the office starting 01/03/2005 and will not return until 01/01/2050.

XXX is no longer affiliated with Columbia Law School; please contact The Registration Services department or the appropriate law school administrator.

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 Is Rumsfeld Going to be the New Home Land Security Chief?

I heard on the radio that Bush nominated a jerk-off.

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Monday, January 10, 2005
 Ugarte's Poker Grovel #51, or Doubling Up

I took some time out of the ass-kicking I’ve been taking on the .50/1 limit tables at Party Poker to play some no limit ring with the crew from the A.M. tournament. The host of that tournament, Sporto, and his roommate, The Chief (formerly known as JCatz) host a Sunday night game at their apartment which they dubbed A.M. II.

asphnxma has been thinking a lot about the meaning of home games, and I’ve sent him my thoughts. I won’t steal his thunder by talking about home games generally, but I’m still going to talk about last night’s game at A.M. II because it had all of the elements of a good home game except alcohol.


 Nice timing

So, the Vikings decided to win a game. Thanks. What about last week? Hell, if you can beat the Packers, what about
two weeks ago?

And I see that Doug Brien decided to hit an overtime field goal. Nice. What about last week? Still bitter about getting cut by the Saints, eh? Yes, I know that you hooked it on purpose.

I hate them.

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Friday, January 07, 2005
 Save the Date. Seriously.

I could go on and on, and in future blog entries as we get closer to the date of the show, I will. For now, let me just say that Jumpin Jive is awesome. To quote Zinester’s press release:

Long before MTV was a gleam in the Viacom corporation’s eye, jazz, blues, and pop artists were documenting some of their favorite moments on film. New York-based archivist Russell Scholl has selected some of the finest moments of these early music shorts and compiled them for you, the lucky viewer. From 1930s hot jazz to 1940s honky-tonk and television-era gospel, these music shorts promise to turn even the most jaded audience members into giddy, gushing fools—or we’ll give you your money back*.

I’ve seen the show twice and I can’t wait to see it again. You can take my words with a grain of salt since it is a Zinester event, but I’m telling you that it kicks so much ass I’d see it at twice the price. Join me at Southpaw on January 25. You won’t regret it.

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Thursday, January 06, 2005
 Behold the awesome power of Jon Stewart!

CNN cancels Crossfire

"I think [Stewart] made a good point about the noise level of these types of shows, which does nothing to illuminate the issues of the day,” [CNN/US President] Jonathan Klein said in an interview. Viewers need “useful” information in a dangerous world, he said, “and a bunch of guys screaming at each other simply doesn’t accomplish that."

Unfortunately Tucker Carlson isn’t going down with the ship. He jumped to MSNBC yesterday.

News • (2) Comments • (0) TrackbacksPermalink


Wednesday, January 05, 2005
 Two more dollars

Private groups are into the tsunami relief efforts, but another two dollars couldn’t hurt.

So, below the fold I meet the challenges of Anders Jacobsen and Daniel Radosh. In that order.

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 Am I a WHAT?!

Signor Ferrari, using his usual combination of tact and finesse, asked me why I hadn’t written about the New York comedians’ strike.

First of all, let me start by saying that Ferrari’s provocative question is a bit of an inside joke. I am a union-yes guy from a union family going back to my grandparents. I am thrilled that the New York Comedians Coalition, has banded together to try and force the showcase clubs in New York to increase comics’ pay. The idea that I would be a scab is - in a very limited, and not laugh-out-loud, kind of way - hilarious. Regardless, I couldn’t be a scab if it wanted to. I don’t play in clubs very often, I don’t get paid on the rare occassions that I do play them and - most importantly - there hasn’t been a strike. I haven’t written about the possibility of a strike before for a couple of reasons.


Tuesday, January 04, 2005
 Where Desperation Lingers

I just got home.

For the second time in two attempts I didn’t perform at the O’Debra twins Monday night open mic at Bowery Poetry Club. I threw my name in the hat and waited for my name to be called. I was FORTY-THIRD. This put me at #20 on the dreaded reserve list, which meant a demotion to a four minute set and (more than likely) no set at all, since the show closes at 2:30AM. I decided to hang around this time to no avail. Rob Apuzzo tried to do me a solid by offering to give his slot to me but the show ended right before Rob’s slot.

So, seriously, when does the money and adulation start?


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