Where feminine hygiene is no laughing matter ...Rick's Cafe Americain

I was a late arrival to the table. I had a 7:00 show at The Duplex and decided to stick around after my set to watch some of the other comics. It is both a courteous thing to do and a good way of seeing what is out there. I also met Alex House and chatted with her about Tuesday’s meeting of the New York Comedians Coalition. It is good to see how many comics in the city are supporting the movement.

Anyway, I had the foresight to register in advance so I didn’t get shut out. Just a little blinded off. So, what did I miss before my arrival…
QKo ... 64s (this was the hand that knocked out the first player. lifesagrind went all-in preflop with AKo against DropDHammer‘s AA.) ... 92o ... A6o (I actually won this hand. I was in the big blind and the table folded to me. Inexplicable, actually. By this point it was clear that I was sitting out but larryvq still folded instead of raising me. Some bully! He finished in 19th, though, so maybe I shouldn’t give him too hard a time.) ... A8o ... T3o ... Q2s ... 42o ... KK (Dammit!) ... J3s ... KJo ... 85o ... JTo ... Q9s ... KQs (Dammit!) ... Q2s ... And then I arrived for Q3o. Fold.

It soon became obvious that Trafficant was the table bully. Not only was he raising preflop often, he was berating the table. He decided to pretend that he ended up in the tournament by accident and had his share of anti-blogger comments:

Trafficant: score one for the blog haters
* * *
Trafficant: i hate the internet
* * *
Trafficant: i remember the good old days when clueless ***ks kept their dumb opions to themselves. now they all have poker blogs.
* * *
Trafficant: blogs are like a cowboy hat, sooner or later every ******* gets one
* * *
aboutmattlaw: word is Iggy is out in case folks are interested in that stuff
Trafficant: word is bloggers all suck
Ugarte’s: yawn, trafficant, yawn

Even though I accused him of shining us on, he persisted in his ruse. He persisted even though his reference to “the drunk midget that put the tournament together” blew his cover. He wanted to have fun, though, so there was no point in getting too beligerent in response.

As all of that was going on, I was slowly bleeding away. We were now on Level 3 (25/50) and my cards were awful. It turns out that I had much more playable stuff before I sat down. Between the blinds and a series of missed flops, I was down to 970 and had to make a move. When I got AQo on the button, I raised it to 200. BigSlickNut - who I barely had covered - made a minimum raise to 400. I pushed. He called and turned over Presto! (pocket fives). I caught a king and a ten on the flop and then a jack on the turn to make my broadway straight, (almost) double up and knock out BigSlickNut in 121st. I’m with asphnxma - he really should have pushed those fives. I probably would have called, but the minimum raise was the wrong play with his stack size.

Not much was going on with my play, but I did get a pleasant surprise when stannum50 joined the table, which led to another round of chat:

stannum50: hey ugarte, been reading you for ages, dont take all my chips k?
asphnxma [observer]: ugarte has a reader?
Ugarte’s: you’re the guy?
asphnxma [observer]: who knew!
Trafficant: who the hell is ugarte
asphnxma [observer]: lol
stannum50: yeah, well, i can only read the small words. i write in small words too
Trafficant: what self respecting person would call themself ugarte?

Obviously Trafficant was continuing his ruse, but I have to quibble with one thing: when did I ever say that I was self-respecting. (Also, that plural pronoun was out of place.)

Trafficant then started criticizing everybody’s play. And getting even ruder. This got people fighting back.

Trafficant: now you blogmonkeys are really unlucky. im done with the real tournament. can focus on this low $ piece of crap.
stannum50: dont waste your itme on our account
Ugarte’s: so we are really unlucky because you lost somewhere else?
TNSpaceman: ha
squaptor: nice
aboutmattlaw [observer]: I’m not even playing anymore, and you’re still driving me nuts, Trafficant
stannum50: we arent worth it, really

Trafficant annoyed Artoch so much that he put a knockout bounty on Trafficant: $10 and a half-empty pack of Pall Mall Reds.

By this time I had pissed away half of my chips again and I was down to 800. Push or fold territory. So when I was dealt A♦T♦ in the cutoff, I went over the top of Trafficant’s raise all-in. He had to call, and turned over KQo. The flop had two diamonds but no other help. The turn was a king, leading Trafficant to start cheering for his bounty, but the 9♦ was my money card. Doubled up again.

Soon after, Otis joined the table and sat down as the table’s chip leader. I didn’t make the Vegas trip, so I don’t know as many of the other bloggers as some of my friends do. But CJ and Otis were the first poker bloggers that I found when I googled “poker blog” and the first guys to link me. Now that Otis is doing so well, I am very happy for him. I appreciated this exchange also (even though it went on amidst yet another “poker lesson” from Trafficant after he sucked out on Artoch’s AQ with AT):

OtisBDart: How’s the business of being charles star?
Ugarte’s: not bad. good set before the tournament. set went better than the cards
OtisBDart: good.  hope to catch your act someday if i can make to the city

Trafficant finally copped to his identity (because he wanted to email Otis) and that calmed the table down somewhat. He did keep harrassing TNSpaceman about his play, though, which probably made it extra sweet for TNSpaceman (KQs) when he called Trafficant’s all-in (77) and caught a king on the turn. I don’t know if Artoch stuck around long enough for TNSpaceman to collect the Trafficant bounty. Or if TNSpaceman smokes. (Jason and Matt, by the way, have been sniping away at each other on their respective blogs. No love lost between those guys.)

I was bouncing between stealing blinds and getting blinded. I had respect at the table because I was playing tight. If I were smarter I would have stolen more blinds, but I did not. I soon found myself back at 900 and at Level 7 the antes started. I couldn’t afford to pay 25 a hand or get pushed around. So the first thing I did when I sat down was say hi. i’m shortstacked. please don’t raise my blinds. And when I looked across the table, there was CJ—and he had even more chips than Otis. Those guys can play.

I certainly couldn’t afford to have Spock326 moved to my table with a huge stack. Because Spock326 is Signor Ferrari, and I knew that he would be licking his chops at the prospect of chewing up my blinds. That is just what happened, though. He sat down and instantly said bring it ugarte to which I could only reply bring it with what? I stole the blinds from UTG just so I could pay my next round and, as expected, Ferrari raised my big blind. I had K5o - and I probably should have pushed - but I wouldn’t have been able to face Ferrari today at the NYC blogger event (especially in front of Pauly) if he bounced me from the WPBT. K5o wasn’t worth the risk.

I stole blinds twice - with AQo and ATs - but when I pushed with KJo, easy_wind called with ATo and bounced me when neither of us got any help. I placed a bounty on myself in Pauly’s comments section - a comedy album/book to be named - and once I choose it, it will be on its way to Sommerville, Massachusetts. I have to admit that I was disappointed when easy_life went out just a few spots ahead of me. I was hoping he would take my coin farther than that.

I hung around and watched the end of the tournament, but the first thing I saw was Ferrari tilt away his stack. It was a surprise, because Ferrari is a very good player. Between you and me, I think he is a better player than I am - but I don’t think he plays me particularly well. It started with a typical hand - I don’t remember whether Ferrari had QQ or AA - but whichever one he had, he doubled someone up. Even if he was behind, getting all of his chips in was the right play, so whether it was a bad beat or a brutal preflop reveal, it started the downhill slide. A few hands later he raised UTG with 22 only to be called by a shortstack with 88. Those two beats left him well below average, but strong enough to wait for a hand. He didn’t wait, though, and pushed K9s - which didn’t hold up. Like I said - Icarus.

Congratulations to Kid Anonymous who had the greatest run of cards I’ve ever seen when the table got down to three players.

Final finish for the NYC bloggers participating in tonights tournament:

25: Toby
38: Ugarte
62: Pauly
104 Derek
105: Mas (who sent his brother in his place)
114: Coach (He got knocked out right before I went looking for him to sweat his action.)
127: asphnxma (who, tragically, won’t be able to play today)
???: Monte Christo (I don’t know if he even played in the WPBT.)

Joaquin just announced that he has a wedding to go to, so he won’t be at the NYC Invitational. He has been replaced by Toni. Nixma’s seat has been taken by Julie, who has proven herself tournament tough.

A few thoughts while I analyze my hand history and think about what I want to write.

Al Can’t Hang auctioned off pieces of himself. Then he busted out in second-to-last place. Is anyone else thinking of The Producers? (This wasn’t the tournament he was selling himself for. -ed. Still, it is a sign of what is to come, is it not?)

asphnxma busted out early and made it to A.M. I hope he had better luck there.

I saw so many reversals of fortune where a player was behind preflop, caught a piece of the flop/turn and got slapped back on the river. So painful to watch. Except the time it helped me out. More tomorrow.

It seems that brothels are now posting positions in job centers and a refusal to punish benefits-recipients for turning down work can lead to a suit by the brothel against the job center. The epitome of heartlessness is one such brothel owner:

Tatiana Ulyanova, who owns a brothel in central Berlin, has been searching the online database of her local job centre for recruits.

“Why shouldn’t I look for employees through the job centre when I pay my taxes just like anybody else?” said Miss Ulyanova.

Stop frowning sweetie, the customers are complaining. Now wipe off your face and get back in the lounge.

Hat tip to Read Less...

I showed up late because I wanted to check out Invite Them Up, a weekly Wednesday night show hosted by Eugene Mirman and Bobby Tisdale. It really is a great show. For $5 you get to see some of the best young comics working today. I hope to get booked into this show soon, but the comics they usually get are (a) friends of the hosts and (b) much more experienced than I am. Fingers crossed.

I made it to A.M. just before 11 and bought in late; I had missed two levels so I forfeited 225 of my initial 2000 in missed blinds. And then sat down in the big blind for another 100. I didn’t get cards worth playing for two full orbits - which didn’t stop me from limping in from the SB once ... and throwing away my cards as soon as the flop came down. I was soon down below 1300 without playing a single hand.

The room was freezing - the result of a door left wide open by the smokers - and I had made the ill-thought-out decision to wear a short-sleeved shirt. To the extent that shaking hands is a tell, I was giving out false signals all night. I was knocking over my stacks and fumbling with my bets because I couldn’t feel my fingers and wouldn’t admit to myself that I should just put my coat on indoors. Everyone was affected; the normal reactions just weren’t there. I don’t know if I can translate it to the page, but imagine an all-in hand where the shortstack moves in with AT and gets called by AK.

Now imagine a T on the flop. Then imagine a K on the river to bounce the shortstack.

Now imagine that each of these revelations is met by the table with the same shock/excitement/noise as if someone had announced “I like my pancakes with syrup.”

In any event, I got my stack from 1300 to 3500 by aggressive bets on flops and turns and, when the tournament went from two tables to one, I moved to the final table. asphnxma was already gone. What followed was a pathetic run of bad fortune interrupted by one good hand.

Every time I was in the big blind a short stack moved all-in. Every time it happened I was sitting on a shitty hand. Every time it happened the pot odds demanded that I call the small raise. Every time it happened, the shortstack’s hand held up, doubled up courtesy of yours truly. The only good luck I had at all was - in the middle of paying other people off - having my crabs hold up against AK when I pushed. Nobody pushed with other people in the big blind; somehow it was always my responsibility to make the call and—pot odds be damned—the cards didn’t come through for me once.

Eventually it caught up with me. As the blinds climbed higher and higher, I pushed in with ATs. Sporto, the big stack by a large margin, pushed to isolate with KQo. Strangely, Jed called with his medium stack and A8. The flop brought a king and I busted out in fifth place (and Jed left with me in fourth).

I stuck around to deal the longest head’s up match I’ve ever seen, with Sporto finally knocking out Tiger.

I’ll tell you this: Committed, shmomitted. Fuck pot odds. I’m dumping shitty big blinds next time. Why do I have to be the table cop?

Mostly what I found out is that Technorati doesn’t appear to cover Rick’s Cafe, but that they do cover Pauly. In fact, Pauly is responsible for almost all of the references to me, which is about what I expected.

I also found that an old Washington Post Style Invitational that I received an honorable mention in is still circulating around the web. Which led me to further investigate: It is in more places than I expected, some with attribution, some without and some outright plagiarism (I’d appreciate a credit, JagMomma).

One of the commenters at CTSB claims that it is a student project, not the regular newscast. The participants appear to fit that story, so I’m inclined to believe it. It is still hilarious. His comments also have another embarrassing weatherman clip.

For all comics
At 2:30 I am attending my first meeting with the New York Comedians Coalition. I’ve discussed the coalition before; I think it is important to my future that comics be able to earn a living wage on local performances alone and I want to play a part in making that happen. If I were to go on strike today nobody in the comedy world would notice—but I like to think that is a temporary situation. I think the contacts I make will increase my exposure to people who can, well, get me more exposure so I think of this as a chance to do well by doing good.

For me
Some clubs use bringer shows or tape submissions to look for new talent. Comic Strip Live on the Upper East Side is different. The Comic Strip holds a lottery twice a year. Comics line up to draw a date to audition for Starla Muraz on the Monday night show. This was—for the last few years, anyway—the first stage of the audition process. It will be interesting to see how the audition process works this year. If Starla “passed” you (gave you a call-back) your second audition was for club owner Lucien Hold (I’m not trying to be overly familiar; everyone referred to Starla and Lucien by their first names). Unfortunately, Lucien passed away last November. After your audition Starla gives each auditioner a personal critique. She is notoriously harsh but I can’t believe that she is a tougher crowd than Zinester. Getting passed on your first attempt is apparently unheard of, so I’m not expecting much. And I’m looking forward to the feedback - I’ll act strong even if she cuts me down.

I’ll obviously keep you posted on my audition date.

For humanity
I don’t want this blog to become a de facto listing service (except to the extent that it is a “my listings” service), but I have to plug this event. The effects of the tsunami are obviously still being felt and will be for years. Liam McEneaney, a comedian with whom I’ve performed at R Bar and a friend has put together a benefit for AmeriCares. The comics are top notch (including some more colleagues from R Bar), the venue is a great one and at $25 it is a great deal. PS 122 is donating its space and staff, and the comics are all donating their time: 100% of the moneys raised will go to AmeriCares. Brother of Ugarte, Zinester and I are taking Mother of Ugarte to the show for her birthday.

NYC ComediCares Benefit at PS 122
150 First Ave. at E. 9th St.
8:00pm - $25.00
RESERVATIONS: 212-477-5288

Produced by: Karen Sneider & Liam McEneaney
Hosted by: Liam McEneaney (VH1’s Best Week Ever, Comedy Central’s Premium Blend)

With:
* Christian Finnegan (Comedy Central Presents 1/2 Hour Special, Best Week Ever; writer, Tough Crowd w/ Colin Quinn)
* Jim Gaffigan (Comedy Central Presents, Late Show w/ David Letterman, That ‘70s Show)
* Demetri Martin (Comedy Central Presents, Late Show w/ David Letterman; writer, Late Night w/ Conan O’Brien)
* Jen Nails (The Edinburgh Fringe Festival, The People’s Improv Theatre)
* Chris Regan (3x Emmy-winning writer, The Daily Show w/ Jon Stewart)
* Jason Trachtenburg (of the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players)
* Victor Varnado (Premium Blend, the Montreal Comedy Festival, and the movies End of Days & Pluto Nash)
* and rock band The Domestics

FEATURING THE WORLD’S MOST KICKASS RAFFLE:
Prizes include:
* An iPod donated by TekServe
*A copy of “America (the book)” autographed by Jon Stewart and the Daily Show correspondants and writing staff
* Comedy Central CD/DVDs from Jim Gaffigan, Todd Barry, Dave Attell and Dane Cook
* Other very cool Comedy Central stuff
* Limited edition Jimmy Kimmel Live! autographed baseball caps/photos
* From VH1 - 20 ‘90s long sleeve t-shirts, a couple of Big in ‘04 t-shirt sets and 1 hip hop sweatshirt
* A pair of tickets to Saturday Night Live
* and more...

Ugartes_PG raises (100) to 100
decksdad raises (170) to 170
MRB1957 calls (10) MRB1957 is all-In. (Yes, that is right. He had 10 chips left.) [ Qc Tc ]
Ugartes_PG raises (595) to 695 Ugartes_PG is all-In. [ Ks, Kd ]
decksdad calls (525) [ Ac As ]
[9d, 4s, Jc ] [ Kc ] [ 9c ]
Ugartes_PG net +700 [ Ks Kd ] [ a full house, Kings full of nines—Ks,Kd,Kc,9d,9c ]
decksdad lost 695 [ Ac As ] [ two pairs, aces and nines—Ac,As,Kc,9d,9c ]
MRB1957net +40 [ Qc Tc ] [ a straight flush, king high—Kc,Qc,Jc,Tc,9c ]

A straight flush with your last chip. *Sigh* The A.M. tournament is tonight, so I’ll have some real poker to write about soon.

Francis has some examples of even worse timing. They also have the virtue of being much funnier than this story, although finding either story funny requires a twisted sense of humor and a dark, dark soul.

DragonBall07 raises (535) to 535 [ Kh Ah ] (DragonBall07 is all-in)
ageorge83 calls (520) [ Td Ad ]

[ 3s, Kc, Qh ] [ Jh ] [ 3h ]

ageorge83 balance 420, lost 535 [ Td Ad ] [ a straight, ten to ace—Ad,Kc,Qh,Jh,Td ]
DragonBall07 balance 1140, bet 535, collected 1140, net +605 [ Kh Ah ] [ a flush, ace high—Ah,Kh,Qh,Jh,3h ]

Not only did a(hole)george83 lose the pot, he showed an alarming ignorance about the meaning of the simple term “rivered”:

ageorge83: OMY nice river
Ugartes_PG: nice call genius!
usscatdaddy1: you got smoked
arohm: you got served
ageorge83: i got rivered MORON
Ugartes_PG: ????
ageorge83: i hsd the str8 loser
arohm: but you lost
ageorge83: I GOT RIVERED
ageorge83: it happens
ageorge83: MORON
arohm: but you lost
arohm: and you had the worst hand going in
arohm: so you suck
usscatdaddy1: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha a
arohm: A10 all in great play

The guy was dominated preflop, hit a miracle gutshot on the turn and then bitched when the heart flush hit on the river. That, my friends, is not “getting rivered”; it is “receiving justice”. And nobody had it coming it more than that guy.

FYI: arohm had to take the lead in schooling the idiot in the chat because Zinester was sweating my play. She simultaneously appealed to the better angels of my nature (requesting that I not trash talk) AND reminded me not to tap the glass. I soooo wanted to jump in, though.

My roommate from law school is from Texas so, as is typical of Texans with means, his parents have a second home in a Colorado ski town. It is beautiful. A log cabin home that should be on a postcard. It sits in an semi-isolated development nestled in a forest of aspens. The rooms are large, the flow is well thought out, the insulation perfect. There is a home theater system with a large plasma flat-screen TV and surroundsound. It is only 10 miles from the mountain. And it has a table large enough to accomodate an 11 person game of hold ‘em.

I took charge of the game and acted as the dealer. This seemed like the right thing to do since I had to explain how “blinds” and “the button” worked to most of the table. No worries; these guys were all sharp and I didn’t have to explain anything more than once. The only concept they never really seemed to understand was “to call a bluff, you probably need an actual hand yourself.” The highlight of the night for me was when one player, holding pocket fours, called an all-in bet on a board of K-J-8-6-5 ... and won the hand from a player holding A7. I knew he was bluffing!, claimed the caller, apparently not aware that bluffing in that scenario easily could have meant, say, Q5. It was a pretty soft table but I couldn’t really take advantage of it.

I tried. I reviewed the cards at showdown forlornly. Almost all of the pots were limped and I repeatedly had to stare at my cards in the muck as I watched two pair come on the flop or a straight come on a cheaply-seen turn. I watched Brother of Ugarte dominate the table as he saw most flops and got handsomely paid when he connected. Once in a pot, these fellows were tough to chase out. Still, I played my usual tight game to my own detriment. Once a scorpion, always a scorpion, I guess. I finished the first day up $12 (on a $10 buy-in). I finished the second day up an additional $7. It could have been so much more; Brother of Ugarte turned his first $10 into an astonishing $80.

When I returned to New York I saw that there was a blogger tournament coming up on Poker Stars so I fired up Stars to check my balance. $4.13. Not enough to play a single SNG. I suddenly remembered why I hadn’t played at Stars in so long. So I sat down at a .02/.04 limit table just to screw around. After winning 10 big bets on the first hand I played, I proceeded to turn my $2 buyin to $1.46 in no time at all. What the hell happened to my limit game? I know that microlimit tables are sort of a joke because nobody folds, but that is why I should be killing the table. Somehow the joke ended up on me because I wasn’t folding either. Can’t do that anymore. It cripples the confidence without imparting any worthwhile lessons. “Stop being a sucker” is more of a life lesson than a poker lesson and I don’t need life lessons from a poker table with a $2 buyin. Anyway, I’ve reloaded the account and I’ll see you suckers on February 2.

On Wednesday I played a lot of poker. After a good 10 minute set at Otto’s Shrunken Head, I headed over to A.M. for the weekly tournament. Prior to the tournament, I received the following message from asphnxma: Happy Birthday, dickhead! I’ll let you steal my blinds ONCE tomorrow night in celebration. So I had that goin’ for me, which was nice. Unfortunately I spent my entire (brief) stay in the tournament on Nixma’s left. So he kept stealing my blinds. Happy fucking birthday to me.

I didn’t play poorly, but I didn’t play well either. In any event, nothing worked out. There were only 12 players willing to brave the bone-chilling cold, so we started six-handed at two tables. When the action came to me (at 25/50) with a raise to 150 from the notoriously aggresive Chief, I reraised to 400. I figured Chief for a baby ace, so when he called and caught an A on the flop, I got away from the hand. I knew a reraise wouldn’t do any good here. He had me figured for pocket paint and was disappointed to get nothing after the flop.

He got me again later when he played 5♦ 3♦ in a limped pot and caught two pair on the turn. I was forced to bet my A♣8♣ when I saw a flop of A♠-3♠-2♦ and got nervous when Chief check-called. His penchant for playing baby aces is well known and I was worried that I was looking at 2 pair already. I foolishly called his underbet on the turn (a 5, giving him the 2 pair I was already worried that he had). He checked the river and I got away without investing any more money, but it wasn’t my greatest play. A bet on the river (Q) may have won me the hand, but I played scared and lost.

My tournament ended sadly when, with only 625 of my starting 2000 remaining, I pushed A2s from the big blind (at 50/100). Nixma, who had limped from the small blind, said Happy Birthday. This is a loose call. And exposed A3s! Jerk. An ace on the flop meant we would almost certainly chop ... unless I get my three on the river ... and there it is. Thanks again for the birthday present, Nix. Remind me to give you a steaming turd at your next natal day.

I stuck around to play .25/.50 NL ring with Tiger, the late-arriving Moug, Finkelstein (the host of my R Bar shows) and Jay. This was a great home game simulation because we were laughing a lot and tossing chips around. The play was smart without being serious. Two hands and I’ll be on my way.

JJ in the big blind. Tiger raised from the cutoff to $1.50 and Moug and I called. The flop was J-7-6. I bet $2; Tiger called, but Moug folded. The turn was another 6. I think I raised Tiger and he folded. For some reason I showed my jacks. Moug breathed a huge sigh of relief and showed his 76s You would have had my stack! He would have been happy to go home with that thought, but Tiger went rabbit hunting and turned over the case six on the now-hypothetical river. I think Moug is still crying.

On the last hand of the night, I was dealt K♦7♦ in the big blind. Tiger and Moug called blind because it was the last hand of the night. The flop was A♦-J-x and the action checked to Tiger, who fired $1.50 into the pot.

Moug: Are you still playing blind?
Tiger: Yes.
Ugarte: Fuck it. I’ll call against a random hand.

After I checked the turn (another diamond), Tiger looked at his cards. When I asked why he was looking at his cards now, he admitted that he had looked after the flop. In his defense, he believed that he had so obviously looked at his hand that he thought Moug’s question was a joke. He offered to let me take back my bet. When I declined he checked back to me. And let me catch the nut flush on the river. I actually didn’t remember if I had diamonds or hearts, so I checked my hand and bet $2. I decided not to push him because I didn’t want to take his stack after he checked the turn out of guilt. He called with AQ. As a result of that last hand, I finished with $20.25 and a net profit of two bits.

Actually, the best part of the ring game was listening to Nixma try to explain why a player had just won a substanital pot had played the hand poorly. He was getting increasingly frustrated as his analysis - impeccable as always - was met with the last refuge of the stooge: I won the hand, didn’t I? I hope he writes it up, because it was hilarious to listen to, even though I am sure his blood was boiling for a lot of the trip home.

Unwilling to end my poker night on such an unprofitable note, I loaded up Poker Stars and played a couple of $5+.50 SNGs. (By the way, this is a huge advantage over Party where the juice on the $5 SNGs is $1.) I finished in 5th in the first one but won the second after an amazing run of all-ins in the space of 27 hands:

22 beat rrider45’s A9s (up to 2915)
AQo lost to rrider45’s QTs (back to 1225)
KQo steals blinds (up to 1725)
A8o beat JAMT’s J8s (2950)
AJs beat rrider45’s A3s (3980)
AJs beat JAMT’s JTs (6840)
K6o beat jsuds’s check-call with A4o after I pushed a flop of K-5-4 (11420)

After I got heads up with EZEZEZ with a 5:1 chip lead, it was easy. EZEZEZ is possibly the worst heads-up player I’ve ever seen. I just raised preflop every time and slowly bled him away. He won one all in when I raised him all-in with a draw that didn’t come, but I stole his blinds back to his former level and when he finally decided to call another big bet, it was after I had turned the nut straight after he made a minimum bet with top pair on the flop. So I am up on my most recent deposit at Poker Stars. Bully for me.