Welcome to the NeighborhoodThe Ramble Project continues.
In the immortal words of Biggie Smalls, Mo’ money, mo’ problems. Oh, the perils of homeownership! Because I am now the sort of person who says domestic things like “My fiancee and I bought some flowerpots at Home Depot for our front stoop,” Carrie and I bought some flowerpots at Home Depot for our front stoop. They were squarish and funky looking and we placed (but did not actually pot) plants in them and set them on our stoop.
And then two days later they were gone, along with a less funky mate.
When Carrie noticed that they were missing, she immediately claimed that she was going to jog around the neighborhood, find them on someone else’s stoop and swipe them back. Fearing that I would have to ID her in the morgue with shards of broken flowerpot in her head, I told her that would be a bad idea. And then, the very next day, when walking home from the subway Carrie noticed the flowerpots - our flowerpots - in the front window of a health food store AROUND THE CORNER FROM OUR HOUSE.
When I confronted the store owner the next morning, he said (in a Jamaican accent, that you are free to do as you are reading becuase it is accurate (or not, if you fear that it will sound racist)) “Someone left them in front of my store and I thought they were so beautiful that I put them in the window.” I took the flowerpots back without incident.
I am amazed at his story, though. Those pots were heavy. Apparently three separate people stole our flowerpots and got tired of carrying them after walking the exact same distance. Very suspicious. From now on I am going somewhere else for my spirulina needs.
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