One would think that a Metropolitan area of 2.6 million people would enable people to travel around after midnight. One would be incorrect. The bus I needed to take to the club stops running at ~9:30PM. The train I needed to return to St. Louis stops running at midnight. Is this a city or a hamlet? I’ve been spoiled by New York City and the all-hours lifestyle. I may not party all-night, but it is nice to know that I could. I was about to cancel my spot, but Joey, the club manager, told me that she could get me a ride back to the city. So out I went. It turns out that if the Metrolink hotline people knew what they were talking about, it wouldn’t have been such a challenge to get out to the club. The only other passenger on the last bus of the day knew a more direct, more accessible route to the club than the one I was taking. (Is it uncharitable to point out that a very nice, well-spoken guy with an excellent knowledge of the Fairview Heights bus system has some serious dental issues?) Continuing a string of nice folks in the Midwest (maybe it isn’t just a facade, the bus driver gave me a transfer that I wasn’t entitled to so I could switch to the closer bus. So, to recap: Thanks, Joey. Thanks, stranger on the bus. Thanks, driver of the #16 Belleville-St. Clair.
NO thanks to the Metrolink information hotline. You have the maps and schedules in front of you. Why do you know so little?
Whenever I know I am going to see inexperienced comics (or road comics), I assume that homophobia will be part of the program. I don’t expect people screaming about “faggots” like some Klan rally, but I do expect one of three things:
1) Using implications of homosexuality as a putdown. - Simple enough. Banter revolves around jibes that question a person’s manhood by indicating a preference for penis.
2) Jokes that assume that gay sex is gross / gays can’t possibly be enjoying the sex that they engage in - These kind of jokes always make me wonder what the comic thinks is so appealing to homosexuals if they don’t even like the sex.
3) “Shock" punchlines that involve the joketeller engaging in drunken sex It is hilarious because the idea that the person is gay is preposterous!
I’d always like to be proven wrong, but I rarely am. I wasn’t wrong here. The preshow banter had a lot of #1 and 2; the onstage comedy a bit of #3. Sigh.
After a short set by an emcee who wasn’t in the mood to take the bullet - and knew that I was there to take it for the feature, I went up and did my set. I started with a joke about St. Louis that I repeat here, because it is unlikely that I’ll ever do it again.
I’ve never been to St. Louis before, so I’ve been checking out the sights. I went to Nelly’s house and got a shot of nambutrol from McGwire’s guy. I’ll go to the arch tomorrow, and I think that covers it.
I got a mixed response to some of my jokes about being a lawyer, but they really liked my relationship stuff. At the end of my set, Joey told me that she probably couldn’t use me in the future: “They really don’t know what a New York lawyer is here. They may know one lawyer who has an office in Collinsville. There are a lot of trailer parks around here.” On the other hand, she took my card and told me that she knew some other clubs in the area that she would recommend me to. We’ll see how that pans out.
I left in the middle of the headliner’s set. I had to catch the last train to St. Louis and my ride didn’t want to stick around. All things considered, it was certainly better than my first spot at Coconuts. With the right tweaking I think I can make some money as a road comic, I just have to pick my venues carefully. I’ll keep you posted. Right now I have to work on getting myself work in New York. More on that tomorrow.
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Road to nowhere, yet
