Rick's Cafe Americain

I read that there was an asassination attempt on Dick Cheney in Afghanistan yesterday. People made a big deal of it and I had a vision of shrapnel and glass flying and Secret Service agents and MPs throwing a kevlar blanket over him and hustling him to safety. Then I read today’s paper.

What kind of lame-ass assassination attempt was this? They were a mile away from the Veep.

I don’t know what the VP does in Afghanistan but we don’t usually make ours work at the security gate checking ID. Even if he would do less harm to the country that way.

One of the resident retards, who works here in the bunker with me, came into my office yesterday railing against Dick Cheney.  I calmly looked at him until he flamed out, then asked, “Why do you think that, Tim?” That’s right, he didn’t have an answer either.

The ghost of Humphrey Bogart is going to stop by and bitchslap you one day.

So, someone comes to you and complains about Cheney. You respond “Why do you think that?” and mistake the look of “Were you not listening, idiot?” for “stumped”? I think we both know who the sharp one in the exchange is.

Anyway, I can’t wait for that day that Bogey stops by. I’ve been practicing my blocking technique.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, I’m sure that you and the retard would get along famously.  We keep him around here in case we need to send someone out into the minefield.

Cheney gave up a pretty plush life to put up with the bullshit of life in politics.  Now what exactly is wrong with him?