Blog King -- Lots More MediocrityHey, boys and girls! It’s time for another installment of Blog King, or, as I like to call it, Race to the Middle. This week we’ll be judging two posts from each Pretender. Each Pretender has chosen a post from their blog to be judged this week, as well as provided an answer to the Challenge Question. This week’s Challenge Question is:
I can’t wait! Let’s see what sort of crap this week’s group of semi-retarded monkeys has thrown at the judges . . .
Who does the aptly named Irritable Blog Syndrome want to interview? Why, it’s Mohammed! Why? Nothing less than World Peace, my friends. How, you may ask? Well, by asking one question: “Is this the path that you envisioned your faith taking?”. That’s right. See, if the answer is “no”, well then all those billions of evil Mohammedans will die of shame—but if the answer is “yes”, well, then its open season on Muslims, baby!! Look for next week’s interview, in which Bull asks Jesus Christ, “Does The Passion get it right?” (of course it does). 2.
For her Chosen Post, Bull offers up a paean to blogging that is long on nostrums and short on analytic thought. Here’s a taste:
I have to admit I liked the Renaissance line, which is surprisingly clever considering the rest of the piece, but Bull completely ignores the dark side of blogging—that it can be used to obfuscate as well as to illuminate, and that it brings out the worst in some of us (like those malicious trolls who waste bandwidth making ad hominem attacks on other bloggers). 5.
Next up is Lobowalk, whose interview with Osama is very short, and includes the phrase “Down on my DICK, ASS NUGGET!!”, which I believe is a mixed metaphor. 1.
Compared to his Challenge Post, Daniel Medley’s Chosen Post is a thoughtful, well-reasoned analysis of George W. Bush’s position on gay marriage. Here’s a sampling:
As I said, compared to his Challenge Post. 2.
We turn now to Ecumenical Insanity, whose Challenge Post interview (which is apparently not posted on his blog) would be with Moammar Qaddafi, of whom he woud ask: “What is the real reason you decided to give up Libya’s weapons of mass destruction programs?” Let’s put aside the fact that I don’t know anyone who doesn’t think that the reason ol’ Mo’ decided to give it up is b/c he didn’t want Libya to become the next Iraq, so why waste your one interview on that. I’m truly disappointed that Athanasius decided to cash in his golden opportunity for a relatively worthless political gambit that wouldn’t have worked anyway. Also, points off for aggravating my pet peeve: talking about “rogue states that support mass murder” and leaving out Saudi Arabia. 2
Before I get to Anathasius’ Chosen Post, let me say to him what anyone who just tried to click on the previous link already knows:
There, don’t we all feel better now?
Now, I won’t get into the substance of Anathasius’ views on gay marriage, with which I disagree, but I will take issue with the following: rampant spelling errors and making up facts and statistics (i.e., “GM, particularly in men, is not likely to result in any greater degree of sexual fidelity and will probably produce significantly higher rates of divorce, given that the average gay male relationship only lasts three years.” and “gay marriage--an opportunity that would likely be grasped by less than .01% of the American population"). Kinda fun to read in the same way it is kinda fun to watch monkeys masturbate. 4.
Miniluv chose Jesus, and asked three questions (the Challenge specifies “one question"). Points for trying to be funny, points off for failing. 5.
In his Chosen Post, Miniluv announces his candidacy for President. If the link doesn’t work, you can find the same level of discourse here. 2.
Blog Supplement‘s interviewee of choice is Mikey, the Life Cereal kid. And all I can say is, despite myself, kids swearing is funny. 8.
As for the Chosen Post, well, that’s actually kinda funny too. 7.
Saving the best for last (not that that would be difficult here), the reigning Blog King himself, Walloworld:
Challenge: He asks Kim Jong Il about his favorite movie!! Nice. Clever, subtle humor with some nice jabs at Chris Matthews and himself. 8.
Chosen Post: Triggerman makes a well-reasoned, well-written argument for imposing certain limitations on advertising directed at kids and/or aired during “family time”. I like it. 8.
Learn from the King, people. Learn from the King.
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