Rick's Cafe Americain

A man recently sued the Angels for sex discrimination because he was not given a tote bag as part of a Mother’s Day promotion.

Inspired by this litigious douchebaggery, the Altoona Curve (AA - Pittsburgh) are having Frivolous Lawsuit Night. I’m not a big fan of the concept; most notoriously “frivilous” lawsuits are actually meritorious but popularized in deceptive ways by insurance companies that hate paying the judgments. The McDonald’s coffee case is the prime example. (If you ever want a boring lecture from me, bring that up at a party as a symbol of the tort system run amok.)

Still, I like the whimsy behind the Curve’s promotions:

* A Pink Tote Bag Giveaway to the first 137 men in attendance ages 18 and over
* The first 137 women 18 and over will receive lukewarm coffee so they will not burn themselves
* The first 137 kids will be given a beach ball with a warning not to ingest it

Hat tip to Bucs Dugout.

4th Circuit Judge Michael Luttig is stepping down from the bench to take a job at Boeing.

Waaaaaah! George didn’t put me on the Supreme Court! Waaaaaaaaaah! I’m taking my 1700’s legal doctrine and going home!

By the way, how does a judge send around resumes? How does a corporation solicit a judge to work for it without forever conflicting out the judge from future matters?

Georgia cops gave a woman a summons for having a vulgar anti-Bush sticker (I’m tired of all the BUSHIT!) on her car.

The driver’s defense is discrimination. Nobody ever got a ticket for the “ IMPEACH CUNTON” stickers that were all the rage in the late ‘90s.

Hat tip to Clarified

I’m basically a believer in legalized prostitution. It is sort of a libertarian-meets-prurient-interest thing. This, on the other hand is going too far: now that prostitution is legal in Germany, women may lose their unemployment benefits for refusing work as prostitutes.

Coming soon on Fox: Conscript Hookers

If a lawyer is going to have a blog, then the terrorism cases are what I should be writing about. Unfortunately, I don’t have time just this second. So instead, I will give it short shrift and let my feelings ooze from the text.

Let me get this straight:

The Supremes decided in Rasul v. Bush that a foreign national detained at the Guantanamo naval base is entitled to habeas relief as if he were being held in the United States itself. Since Gitmo is, for all intents and purposes, a permanent U.S. facility this was the only reasonable decision. Still, that didn’t prevent a 5-1-3 vote. Of course, any hopes that this right would be immediately meaningful were dashed when the decision in Hamdi came out. (Negative points for the majority for a confusing and unnecessarily complicated job of distinguishing the Eisentrager precedent. A better opinion would have made the dissent look foolish instead of merely wrong.)

In Hamdi v. Rumsfeld the Court decided that a U.S. Citizen captured abroad and held in the U.S. as an enemy combatant, the detainee can protest the fact of his designation as an enemy combatant (but not any specific military charges) in a proceeding where (a) hearsay is admissible and (b) the government gets all presumptions. Interesting notion of due process. You don’t get charged with a crime and the “evidence” against you actually requires scare quotes. (Bonus points to Scalia and Stevens for being the only Justices to get this right and holding that actual charges must be brought if Hamdi is to be detained. Serious negative points to Thomas for believing that war justifies the creation of martial law.)

Finally, and most offensively, the Supremes committed the most egregious punt of the term. After punting on the Pledge of Allegiance and Energy Task Force cases, the biggest shank off of the Court’s foot came today in Rumsfeld v. Padilla. Instead of answering the question concerning the liberty of all Americans within our nation’s borders, the Court chose to dismiss the case on obscure venue grounds. Yes, Padilla can refile in South Carolina. In the meantime, he remains in prison without any charges and without any recourse. And for all conspiracy theorists out there, all of the Republicans (unless people still want to argue that Souter is a Republican) voted to decide this case in such a way as to make it unlikely to be resolved before the election.

What a bunch of fucking pussies.

A woman in Texas (and a member of the local chamber of commerce) faces charges after a sting operation on a Tuperware style party that features sex toys—or, as they are known by the politically correct, marital aids. Apparently, adult stores get around Texas laws by posting signs that say the toys should only be used as novelties, while these women had the audacity to not participate in that little charade.

It is good to know that the Texas police are keeping dildos out of our bedrooms, but if everything is bigger in Texas, I am not sure what they are so worried about.

A woman in Texas (and a member of the local chamber of commerce) faces charges after a sting operation on a Tuperware style party that features sex toys—or, as they are known by the politically correct, marital aids. Apparently, adult stores get around Texas laws by posting signs that say the toys should only be used as novelties, while these women had the audacity to not participate in that little charade.

It is good to know that the Texas police are keeping dildos out of our bedrooms, but if everything is bigger in Texas, I am not sure what they are so worried about.

Mike Price alabama football U.S. District Judge Lynwood Smith Sports Illustrated SI

Ugarte and Rick, be careful about what you say about dem folks down in Alabama! One of Signor Ferrari�s many sources in the Casablanca underworld forwarded this article on a surprising court order that under Alabama law a magazine (and other media) must reveal its sources in a libel and slander action precisely because it is a magazine and not a newspaper.

Over the summer, Mike Price who had been named the head coach of the University of Alabama�s fabled college football factory after the 2002 season, was fired before he ever coached a game because of allegations involving strip clubs, strippers, sex, exorbitant room service bills (by the strippers) and lots and lots of drinking.

Ugarte and Rick, be careful about what you say about dem folks down in Alabama! One of Signor Ferrari�s many sources in the Casablanca underworld forwarded this article on a surprising court order that under Alabama law a magazine (and other media) must reveal its sources in a libel and slander action precisely because it is a magazine and not a newspaper.

Over the summer, Mike Price who had been named the head coach of the University of Alabama�s fabled college football factory after the 2002 season, was fired before he ever coached a game because of allegations involving strip clubs, strippers, sex, exorbitant room service bills (by the strippers) and lots and lots of drinking.