Where peace is not a pie ...Rick's Cafe Americain

AP Headline:

Hamas Hints at Recognition of Israel

How it reads in my head:

Hey, isn’t that Israel? It sure would be a shame if any of their enemies knew where they were. Because I have this rocket launcher just sitting here doin’ nothin’.

If ever a spam arrived in my inbox with a waving red flag, it was this one, received today at 4:38PM:

From:  nitwit select
Subject: Re: Your cash

Here is Tom DeLay’s mug shot:

Here is Tom Delay after resigning from Congress:

Sorry Williamsburg hipsters. The award for most effective use of irony goes to ... Tom DeLay’s smile!

I got an email from Ticketmaster with the subject “Don’t Miss Kenny Chesney,” which is crazy - I got an email from Renee Zellwegger last week that said the exact same thing.

Renee Zellwegger is a heartless bitch.

Yes, that’s right. On April 5, 2006 at 11:11 AM, there is a blizzard in New York City. We dream of a White Christmas, not a White Easter.

If Christ actually arose, he’d be freezing. “It was pretty cold in the cave but I figured a tunic and sandals would be OK in April. Can a savior get a fucking coat?”