Monday, November 01, 2004
 Landslide! (updated)

Kerry (WF) 100%
Nader (*) 0%
Bush (R) 0%

With far fewer than 1% of the precincts reporting, here is how New York is shaping up, based on an exit poll of bloggers at Rick’s Cafe Americain who mailed absentee ballots from New York today.

Kerry (WF) 100%
Nader (*) 0%
Bush (R) 0%

See you in Pinellas County, you vote suppressing fuckwad.

Update: The percentage is the same, but the vote is now 2-0. And we’ve got Miami-Dade covered too, fuckwad.

10/25 Update: Add Zinester, Brother of Ugarte and Dawn. At 5-0, this is too much to bear. And Brother of Ugarte has Pennsylvania under control, dickface.

10/28 Update: Alceste will make it 1-0 in New Jersey as soon as he gets his ballot in the mail. Same for Signor Ferrari in Ohio. Swing states, my ass. Take that, jackhole. And you too, um, ... is there a Republican in Jersey with any actual power?

11/1 Update: For the superstitious among you, the election is sealed. The Packers defeated the Redskins on Sunday. A Redskins’ loss has augured victory for the challenging party in every election since 1936. Remember to thank the referee for saving our country. (Hat tip to Coach for encouraging publication, but I did know about this electoral arcana already.)

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